Doctors' offices are somewhat like libraries - people tend to whisper while in the waiting room. This is especially true when patients are telling, what can be, very private information to the receptionist regarding their reasons for being at the doctor's office. Not everyone in the waiting room wants to hear about hemorrhoids, pussy lesions or bowell activity, so the whispering is usually greatly appreciated by those not involved in the conversation.
Apparently, not everyone is aware of this whispering rule.
Specifically the lady speaking with the receptionist at my allergist's office.
Scene: I walk into the office and scan my handy-dandy allergy shot card through the scanner (amazing little machine). There is a woman speaking with the receptionist. I don't pay much attention to her. Yet. I have a seat and wait for my name to be called.
Lady: (LOUDLY) I ain't got my surgery scheduled yet, but it'll be happenin' right soon. (I'm serious. I could not make this dialogue up.)
Receptionist: (I have no clue as she was speaking softly - like she should be. I can only imagine it would be something like this...) That's fine ma'am. Just leave that section blank and proceed to the next question on the form.
Lady: (Oblivious to the fact that the receptionist is whispering for a reason - speaks LOUDLY again.) I'm havin' that Lap Band surgery cause I'm fat! That's s'posed to make me lose all this here weight. I'm really fat now. Dontcha' think?
Receptionist: (Now looking for the nearest exit. And since I still can't hear her because she is WHISPERING, I can only make this part up.) Ma'am I'm sure you are excited about your surgery.
Lady: (Still LOUD) Yep. I'm gonna be thin like them Super Models on TV. I can't wait to buy me some new clothes and look all sexy. (I'm trying desperately not to snicker at this point as I shove my head even deeper into the magazine I'm pretending to read.) I'm sure I'll be hurtin' for a while after the surgery, but soon I'll be rarin' to go.
At this point the nurse calls my name and I have to leave the waiting room area to get my shot. When I come back out, the lady is now seated filling out the rest of the form and the poor receptionist is in the hallway outside the doctor's office splashing water on her face trying to get the image of that lady in her new "sexy" clothes out of her head.
Here's to hopin' that Lap Band surgery is a success. Maybe she'll be able to tell us all about it the next time I come in for my shot.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
More Country Music Half Marathon Pics
For those of you who might not have known, I've been training for the Country Music Half Marathon for approximately three months. It has been a lllllloooonnnnnggggg journey, but I met the light at the end of the tunnel (quite literally as I struggled my way to the finish line) yesterday when I completed the Nashville Country Music Half Marathon.For those of you that know me well, feel free to mock and tease me for this endeavor as I know it is killing a few of you. I'm 5'1" and don't really have the body of a runner unless the runners you know look like any of the Oompa Loompas. Let the teasing begin.
13.1 miles BABY!!!!! And I ran the whole way! That is a major accomplishment for me as my longest distance running before yesterday was 10 miles during my training.
Three members of the Hot POTATO team crossed the finish line along with another POTATO mommy (Yeah Tammy) and my good friend Amy crossed the finish line with me. I swear I wouldn't have been able to run that whole thing without her by my side. Thank goodness we ran at the same pace. Thanks Amy!
It was a wonderful experience and I will definitely sign up to do it again. I feel like I can accomplish just about anything now, but there is still NO WAY I'll be doing that full marathon any time soon. Those people are NUTS.
I have added a Flickr Pics feature to my side bar on the right. Just click on it to see more pictures from the day's events. There are several including many of the girls. Chris and the girls were able to see me at five different locations along the race course and they were definitely an inspiration for keeping me running.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Man, my feet hurt!!!!!
Yeah baby! I finished! And the paramedics didn't even have to carry me over the finish line!
I ran the whole thing and can't tell you how impressed I am with myself for that. I've been training for three months and today was the moment of truth.
My girls and wonderful hubby came down to support me and I'll have pics they took on here soon. As soon as I recover and regain the use of my legs.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
So many stories, so little time
It has been a whirlwind the past couple weeks. Lots going on and no time to blog about it. I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself, "That would make a great blog post", but I just haven't sat down to type it all down.
As I collect all my thoughts - and there are many - I thought I would post this quickly written story I sent in as my President's letter for the POTATO group.
Enjoy.
_____________________________________________
As parents we try to teach our children all we can: the difference between right and wrong; keep your fingers out of the outlets, say “please” and “thank you”, don’t run with scissors. Sometimes our children surprise us along the way and teach us a little something. This recently happened to me.
My 5-year-old girls are playing soccer. Yep – I’m a soccer mom and proud of it! Last year we annihilated every team we played (not that we kept score, because we aren’t supposed to do that at their age – yeah, right). Consequently, the league is making us play several 6-year-old teams this year to help even out the playing field a bit. This past Saturday we played one of those 6-year-old teams. They were bigger and seemed WAY more organized, but we were holding our own and staying in the fight. Fight is precisely the right word. One of the little brats – oops, sorry – I mean angelic players from the other team started hurling himself in front of our players making them trip. He did this repeatedly without his coach saying a word. Of course, the parents of the kids on our team had a few choice words, but we kept the comments to ourselves. Then another little monster – sorry – precious child on the other team started shoving kids – MY KIDS! OH HECK NO!!!!!
The first time I let it slide. Ashlyn stared the boy down and kept on running. The second time he pushed her right in front of his coach. I thought for sure the coach or the obviously blind ref would say something to this kid, but the game kept going. The third time he did it in front of me. BAD. MOVE.
I jumped from my luxurious lawn chair and screamed (no exaggeration here – I truly screamed) “NO, you will NOT do that to her!” That kid turned stark white and everyone went silent. At this point my daughter was in tears as he had pushed her to the ground and I rushed to pick her up. As I held her in my arms I told the ref and the coaches they had better do something about the pushing and shoving.
Then I tended to my daughter. I was prepared to hold her the rest of the game and buy her every flavor of snow cone they had at the concession stand. I asked her repeatedly if she was okay. She started telling me, “no, mommy, no”. I didn’t understand. And then she made it crystal clear. “No mommy. I don’t want anything. I want to get back in the game.”
My little hero didn’t want to be consoled. She wanted to get her tail back into that game to show that other team what she was made of. And she did. We beat that 6-year-old team 2 to 1. And I learned that my girls can handle many things on their own now. I still have a lot to teach them, but I will now pay more attention to the lessons they can teach me along the way.
As I collect all my thoughts - and there are many - I thought I would post this quickly written story I sent in as my President's letter for the POTATO group.
Enjoy.
_____________________________________________
As parents we try to teach our children all we can: the difference between right and wrong; keep your fingers out of the outlets, say “please” and “thank you”, don’t run with scissors. Sometimes our children surprise us along the way and teach us a little something. This recently happened to me.
My 5-year-old girls are playing soccer. Yep – I’m a soccer mom and proud of it! Last year we annihilated every team we played (not that we kept score, because we aren’t supposed to do that at their age – yeah, right). Consequently, the league is making us play several 6-year-old teams this year to help even out the playing field a bit. This past Saturday we played one of those 6-year-old teams. They were bigger and seemed WAY more organized, but we were holding our own and staying in the fight. Fight is precisely the right word. One of the little brats – oops, sorry – I mean angelic players from the other team started hurling himself in front of our players making them trip. He did this repeatedly without his coach saying a word. Of course, the parents of the kids on our team had a few choice words, but we kept the comments to ourselves. Then another little monster – sorry – precious child on the other team started shoving kids – MY KIDS! OH HECK NO!!!!!
The first time I let it slide. Ashlyn stared the boy down and kept on running. The second time he pushed her right in front of his coach. I thought for sure the coach or the obviously blind ref would say something to this kid, but the game kept going. The third time he did it in front of me. BAD. MOVE.
I jumped from my luxurious lawn chair and screamed (no exaggeration here – I truly screamed) “NO, you will NOT do that to her!” That kid turned stark white and everyone went silent. At this point my daughter was in tears as he had pushed her to the ground and I rushed to pick her up. As I held her in my arms I told the ref and the coaches they had better do something about the pushing and shoving.
Then I tended to my daughter. I was prepared to hold her the rest of the game and buy her every flavor of snow cone they had at the concession stand. I asked her repeatedly if she was okay. She started telling me, “no, mommy, no”. I didn’t understand. And then she made it crystal clear. “No mommy. I don’t want anything. I want to get back in the game.”
My little hero didn’t want to be consoled. She wanted to get her tail back into that game to show that other team what she was made of. And she did. We beat that 6-year-old team 2 to 1. And I learned that my girls can handle many things on their own now. I still have a lot to teach them, but I will now pay more attention to the lessons they can teach me along the way.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Me????? Sarcastic????? No..........surely not
I come from a VERY sarcastic family. Actually there is quite a bit of sarcasm on my mother's and father's side of the family, so it was inevitable that I would be a sarcastic little twit. Don't ya love genetics.
Anyway, my friend Courtney sent me this in an email today and I literally laughed so hard I had to clean the Diet Coke off my computer screen. Enjoy! You may have to click on it to read the verbiage.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Easter was early - Pictures are late
I just realized I didn't post any Easter pics - oops!
The Easter Bunny decided to do a scavenger hunt for the girls' Easter baskets since it was FREEZING outside on Easter Sunday. The Bunny had little notes for the girls in each room which eventually led them to their room for the baskets. The girls LOVED it!
Here are some pics.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Universal Ticket Usage
Scene: Driving toward downtown NashVegas with the critters in the back. Looking at the skyline and other Nashville landmarks - more specifically - the Titans' Stadium.
Mood: The girls have been wanting to see a football game since birth. Bless their hearts! They have no choice but to love football since they were born in SEC country.
Dialogue (right after they spot the stadium):
Ashlyn: Mommy, we want to go to a football game.
Anna: Yeah Mommy. When can we go to a game?
Mommy: Girls, football tickets cost quite a bit of money and are hard to get, but we're trying.
Ashlyn: But Mommy, we have tickets at home.
Anna: Yeah, we have tickets.
Mommy: What do you mean girls? We don't have tickets at home.
Ashlyn: Yes we do. We have LOTS of Chuck E. Cheese tickets at home. Let's use those.
Mommy: Wouldn't that be nice...
Mood: The girls have been wanting to see a football game since birth. Bless their hearts! They have no choice but to love football since they were born in SEC country.
Dialogue (right after they spot the stadium):
Ashlyn: Mommy, we want to go to a football game.
Anna: Yeah Mommy. When can we go to a game?
Mommy: Girls, football tickets cost quite a bit of money and are hard to get, but we're trying.
Ashlyn: But Mommy, we have tickets at home.
Anna: Yeah, we have tickets.
Mommy: What do you mean girls? We don't have tickets at home.
Ashlyn: Yes we do. We have LOTS of Chuck E. Cheese tickets at home. Let's use those.
Mommy: Wouldn't that be nice...
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Open Letter to Pediatrician
Dear Dr. Pain-in-my-arse;
While I appreciate you giving us one of the first appointments of the day so we don't have to wait for the new millennium to roll around while in your waiting room, I'm not thrilled with today's Kindergarten Well-Child Visit for my twins.
It started off well. Your friendly nurses did the whole height, weight (I actually cringed when the girls jumped on the scale due to my own fear of getting on a scale), eyesight and hearing. The girls were quite amused with the process and things were moving right along.
We got in a room and I was given the questionnaires. Ah, yes - there is nothing I like more than paying for a doctor's visit so I can perform a large part of the check-up.
What do I mean?
This questionnaire is supposed to be conducted by the parent to the child without anyone else in the room. This doesn't make a DARN bit of sense as my children (as do most) do MUCH better with any activity when I'm not around. And - last time I checked - I won't be sliding my fat butt in a teeny tiny desk next to them in Kindergarten, so WHY am I conducting this test!?!
The test was made up of cognitive type questions. For example:
1. Have your child stand on one foot and count how many seconds.
I'm sure it didn't effect the answer that I had them hold on to the wall, did it?
2. Ask your child which of these pictures makes a "moo-ing" noise. Pictures of a horse, cow, bird, man and dog were the choices.
They both picked the right answer (Cow for those of you playing at home), but I was willing to accept "man" considering we weren't informed of how much Jack Daniels the man had consumed prior to the actual "moo-ing" sound. I'm just saying I've seen many a drunk person make many a sound.
3. Have your child define the following: ceiling, cup, house
Normally, this wouldn't have been an issue, but when you are asking one child and you are still in the VERY SMALL patient room with the other child it is hard to get two original answers here. Not a very thorough test.
4. Can your child dress themselves without help?
Yes, but only if they haven't had too much Jack Daniels. Refer to question 2.
5. Can your child choose their own clothes?
Of course, but those clothes will never match and will - most likely - include some sort of fairy wings or Spiderman mask. What the #%*$!!!!!
You get the gist of it. But the questions went on FOREVER!!! I was literally in the tiny (I swear the walls were coming in on me) room with them for almost an hour.
Then you graced us with your presence. I have to admit - you are not my favorite doctor in the practice and I openly ask to see one of the other three wonderful physicians in your practice when I have a sick kid. I didn't think a physical would be a huge deal and thought you would be able to handle us without too much of a problem.
Yeah, right.
All was well when you came in. You reviewed their test results and other data and concluded that they can start kindergarten. Then you said the dreaded word out loud:
"SHOTS"
I'm very open and honest with my kids. I don't promise "no shots" as you just never know, but I wasn't prepared for 5 shots. Holy cow! I read over the literature and even the school had those shots listed as the last ones to get before kids start kindergarten, but springing "5 shots" on twin 5-year-olds is just cruel. Not to mention the fact that you still had a good 15 minutes before you could have the shots ready to give them. So - while you and the nurses took your time chasing down the chickens for the chicken pox shot, my girls spent the rest of what seemed like an eternity in the tiny room screaming their heads off, clinging to me and begging me to take them home.
When you stuck your head in about 10 minutes into shot "prep" time and said "we are getting them ready as fast as we can", I had a hard time not ripping your head off. Since you should be grateful you still have a head you shouldn't have looked at me like a deer in the headlights when I said to you, "No, please, take all the time you need. We're having a blast in here." in the MOST sarcastic voice I could muster over all the screaming and crying. Good times!
Your nurses were on the ball once the shots were ready. They had them done in nano-seconds. Thank goodness. Ash was good to go once the suckers and stickers were handed out (ah yes - she can be bought out by the best of them), but I knew Anna was going to make me pay for this the rest of the day. Lovely.
Hopefully I won't be seeing you again anytime soon.
Sincerely,
Mom to two Kindergartners (When the heck did that happen?!?)
While I appreciate you giving us one of the first appointments of the day so we don't have to wait for the new millennium to roll around while in your waiting room, I'm not thrilled with today's Kindergarten Well-Child Visit for my twins.
It started off well. Your friendly nurses did the whole height, weight (I actually cringed when the girls jumped on the scale due to my own fear of getting on a scale), eyesight and hearing. The girls were quite amused with the process and things were moving right along.
We got in a room and I was given the questionnaires. Ah, yes - there is nothing I like more than paying for a doctor's visit so I can perform a large part of the check-up.
What do I mean?
This questionnaire is supposed to be conducted by the parent to the child without anyone else in the room. This doesn't make a DARN bit of sense as my children (as do most) do MUCH better with any activity when I'm not around. And - last time I checked - I won't be sliding my fat butt in a teeny tiny desk next to them in Kindergarten, so WHY am I conducting this test!?!
The test was made up of cognitive type questions. For example:
1. Have your child stand on one foot and count how many seconds.
I'm sure it didn't effect the answer that I had them hold on to the wall, did it?
2. Ask your child which of these pictures makes a "moo-ing" noise. Pictures of a horse, cow, bird, man and dog were the choices.
They both picked the right answer (Cow for those of you playing at home), but I was willing to accept "man" considering we weren't informed of how much Jack Daniels the man had consumed prior to the actual "moo-ing" sound. I'm just saying I've seen many a drunk person make many a sound.
3. Have your child define the following: ceiling, cup, house
Normally, this wouldn't have been an issue, but when you are asking one child and you are still in the VERY SMALL patient room with the other child it is hard to get two original answers here. Not a very thorough test.
4. Can your child dress themselves without help?
Yes, but only if they haven't had too much Jack Daniels. Refer to question 2.
5. Can your child choose their own clothes?
Of course, but those clothes will never match and will - most likely - include some sort of fairy wings or Spiderman mask. What the #%*$!!!!!
You get the gist of it. But the questions went on FOREVER!!! I was literally in the tiny (I swear the walls were coming in on me) room with them for almost an hour.
Then you graced us with your presence. I have to admit - you are not my favorite doctor in the practice and I openly ask to see one of the other three wonderful physicians in your practice when I have a sick kid. I didn't think a physical would be a huge deal and thought you would be able to handle us without too much of a problem.
Yeah, right.
All was well when you came in. You reviewed their test results and other data and concluded that they can start kindergarten. Then you said the dreaded word out loud:
"SHOTS"
I'm very open and honest with my kids. I don't promise "no shots" as you just never know, but I wasn't prepared for 5 shots. Holy cow! I read over the literature and even the school had those shots listed as the last ones to get before kids start kindergarten, but springing "5 shots" on twin 5-year-olds is just cruel. Not to mention the fact that you still had a good 15 minutes before you could have the shots ready to give them. So - while you and the nurses took your time chasing down the chickens for the chicken pox shot, my girls spent the rest of what seemed like an eternity in the tiny room screaming their heads off, clinging to me and begging me to take them home.
When you stuck your head in about 10 minutes into shot "prep" time and said "we are getting them ready as fast as we can", I had a hard time not ripping your head off. Since you should be grateful you still have a head you shouldn't have looked at me like a deer in the headlights when I said to you, "No, please, take all the time you need. We're having a blast in here." in the MOST sarcastic voice I could muster over all the screaming and crying. Good times!
Your nurses were on the ball once the shots were ready. They had them done in nano-seconds. Thank goodness. Ash was good to go once the suckers and stickers were handed out (ah yes - she can be bought out by the best of them), but I knew Anna was going to make me pay for this the rest of the day. Lovely.
Hopefully I won't be seeing you again anytime soon.
Sincerely,
Mom to two Kindergartners (When the heck did that happen?!?)
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