Dear HellMart Cashier....

I know, I know....I haven't blogged for a while. And I absolutely have stuff to blog about.

When I logged in this morning to post a picture that I thought I had downloaded (dang it - I didn't), I found the post below saved as a draft from July. Since I have nothing to post today, I thought I would just finally publish this one. Enjoy.
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Dear HellMart Cashier;

When I walk into Hell-Mart (my affectionate name for Wal*Mart for those new to this blog), I truly expect VERY little. I believe this store is a drain on our society, but DANG IT, those low prices sometimes drag the Cheap A** in me into your dark crevices. This is especially true when you are selling my sweet nectar of life - Diet Coke - for $2 less than any other store. Today was one of those days.

When I entered your "20 items and under SPEEDY CHECKOUT" line today (no kidding - the sign says "speedy checkout), I thought for sure it wouldn't take that long to get out the door. Boy was I wrong.

I'm not sure who within HellMart defined your checkout skills as "speedy", but I'm thinking he might be a turtle or snail lover, possibly a turtle or snail himself. Or he might possibly be dead. I literally watched my life pass before my eyes as I watched you scan one item after another with record-breaking slowness. I think I could actually see the hairs growing on my legs as you proceeded with the two people in front of me (no other line was open, because Heaven forbid HellMart be customer service savvy).

And when I finally got up to the checkout for my turn and the little credit card payment box thingy asked, "Was your cashier friendly today?", I practically laughed out loud as I searched for the "Are you freakin' kidding me?!?" button to select as you didn't even crack a smile or even make eye contact with me. I realize you are probably not thrilled to work for such a cruddy company, but there are other places that will pay you the same to do work that might be more appropriate for you. For example:

1. Golf Courses - you would be perfect at watching the grass grow so the greens managers can be aware of any problems on the course.

2. High School Detention Officer - nothing like watching the seconds click by along with the students, and it is very possible that you have super powers to make those seconds click by even slower (that's how it felt while in your lane).

3. Frown Judge - I know that isn't an actual job, but you would truly be excellent at it. I don't think I've ever seen anyone keep a frown on their face as long as you did. Did you know it takes more muscle work to frown than to smile?

Am I being a bit harsh? Probably, but I have yet to have a good experience in HellMart and I just need to quit hoping for things to change.

Sincerely,

Irritated, but optimistic mom