And the tears, they were a flowin'

I've done well this past week. I've not been a blubbering mess like many other mothers I've seen in the kindergarten hallways. Yes - I have shed a tear or two, but they were able to be daintily brushed away without too much ado.

Til today.

Today was our second full day of kindergarten with each girl's full class (they do a whole phasing in process in our county that involves half the class some days, half days on others, twister competitions and cattle prodding - basically MUCH ado). If students get to school early they sit in the gym separated by grade level and are then herded (that's where the cattle prod comes in) to their classrooms when the teachers are ready. The kindergartners sit in the middle of the gymnasium on the mascot's pictures.

I asked the girls if they wanted to sit with the other kindergartners and they were all for it. Ashlyn was already dancing on the mascot's head in the middle of the gym by the time I finished asking them. We sat down with the other kiddies and a few of their parents. After a couple minutes the girls looked at each other knowingly (they do that all the time and it drives me insane as I just KNOW they are using that twin mental telepathy!) and then Ashlyn said to me, "Mommy, you can go now."

Say what?!?

But I wasn't ready to go. I hadn't "let go" yet. I needed them to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be okay. I need them to hug me and pat me on my back til I calmed down.

Hey wait - who's the parent and who is the child here?

So I stood up, kissed them both and told them I loved them. I walked out of the gym and then watched them march out to the kindergarten hall without them knowing I was still there.

And then I cried all the way back to my van. Big alligator tears. And that's okay.