I didn't quite hear you...

Doctors' offices are somewhat like libraries - people tend to whisper while in the waiting room. This is especially true when patients are telling, what can be, very private information to the receptionist regarding their reasons for being at the doctor's office. Not everyone in the waiting room wants to hear about hemorrhoids, pussy lesions or bowell activity, so the whispering is usually greatly appreciated by those not involved in the conversation.

Apparently, not everyone is aware of this whispering rule.

Specifically the lady speaking with the receptionist at my allergist's office.

Scene: I walk into the office and scan my handy-dandy allergy shot card through the scanner (amazing little machine). There is a woman speaking with the receptionist. I don't pay much attention to her. Yet. I have a seat and wait for my name to be called.

Lady: (LOUDLY) I ain't got my surgery scheduled yet, but it'll be happenin' right soon. (I'm serious. I could not make this dialogue up.)

Receptionist: (I have no clue as she was speaking softly - like she should be. I can only imagine it would be something like this...) That's fine ma'am. Just leave that section blank and proceed to the next question on the form.

Lady: (Oblivious to the fact that the receptionist is whispering for a reason - speaks LOUDLY again.) I'm havin' that Lap Band surgery cause I'm fat! That's s'posed to make me lose all this here weight. I'm really fat now. Dontcha' think?

Receptionist: (Now looking for the nearest exit. And since I still can't hear her because she is WHISPERING, I can only make this part up.) Ma'am I'm sure you are excited about your surgery.

Lady: (Still LOUD) Yep. I'm gonna be thin like them Super Models on TV. I can't wait to buy me some new clothes and look all sexy. (I'm trying desperately not to snicker at this point as I shove my head even deeper into the magazine I'm pretending to read.) I'm sure I'll be hurtin' for a while after the surgery, but soon I'll be rarin' to go.

At this point the nurse calls my name and I have to leave the waiting room area to get my shot. When I come back out, the lady is now seated filling out the rest of the form and the poor receptionist is in the hallway outside the doctor's office splashing water on her face trying to get the image of that lady in her new "sexy" clothes out of her head.

Here's to hopin' that Lap Band surgery is a success. Maybe she'll be able to tell us all about it the next time I come in for my shot.