I Can't Even Begin...

...to adequately put into words what is happening to the family of a close friend of mine. I think I'll start from the beginning and work from there.

If you have ever received parenting advice from me, I assure you that 95% of that advice was passed on to me from Kathleen Matthews. Kathleen and her husband Wilson are the parents of twin 8 year old girls - Madison & Makenzie - and a 5-year-old son - Justin. Of course, I met Kathleen through POTATO and we've been great friends ever since. She is truly my "twin guru" and our personalities are extremely similar (think Type A meets Super anal, but WAY prettier & funnier).

To cut to the chase...almost two weeks ago Makenzie was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I won't go into all the details other than to say this was extremely unexpected and out of the blue. Makenzie went from being diagnosed with the tumor, to an 11 hour brain surgery, to being diagnosed with brain cancer within a 96-hour period. It truly boggles the mind - especially when you think that Makenzie is only 8 years old and weighs about 55 pounds.

I have been amazed at the outpouring of love and prayers from the people in the Matthews' lives and from people they don't even know. Makenzie has a website through CarePages - an online "blog" of sorts for people with life-changing health events, and they are receiving hundreds of messages from people all over praying and thinking of Makenzie and the family during this difficult time. I encourage you to check the CarePages site out, log in and sign up for the updates Kathleen and Wilson are making regarding Makenzie's progress. It is amazing to read their words of hope, fear, faith, encouragement, discouragement and love during this tumultuous time in their lives.

Please take a moment (or 20, or 100) to pray for or send good thoughts to the Matthews family. I will post some updates, but the best way to keep posted on Makenzie's progress is through the CarePages site. Plus, Kathleen and Wilson ready every comment posted on the site, so feel free to leave an encouraging message.

*The picture is of the Matthews family the night before Makenzie's surgery. Makenzie loved that she could wear those fancy pajamas.

Dear HellMart Cashier....

I know, I know....I haven't blogged for a while. And I absolutely have stuff to blog about.

When I logged in this morning to post a picture that I thought I had downloaded (dang it - I didn't), I found the post below saved as a draft from July. Since I have nothing to post today, I thought I would just finally publish this one. Enjoy.
_________________________________________________

Dear HellMart Cashier;

When I walk into Hell-Mart (my affectionate name for Wal*Mart for those new to this blog), I truly expect VERY little. I believe this store is a drain on our society, but DANG IT, those low prices sometimes drag the Cheap A** in me into your dark crevices. This is especially true when you are selling my sweet nectar of life - Diet Coke - for $2 less than any other store. Today was one of those days.

When I entered your "20 items and under SPEEDY CHECKOUT" line today (no kidding - the sign says "speedy checkout), I thought for sure it wouldn't take that long to get out the door. Boy was I wrong.

I'm not sure who within HellMart defined your checkout skills as "speedy", but I'm thinking he might be a turtle or snail lover, possibly a turtle or snail himself. Or he might possibly be dead. I literally watched my life pass before my eyes as I watched you scan one item after another with record-breaking slowness. I think I could actually see the hairs growing on my legs as you proceeded with the two people in front of me (no other line was open, because Heaven forbid HellMart be customer service savvy).

And when I finally got up to the checkout for my turn and the little credit card payment box thingy asked, "Was your cashier friendly today?", I practically laughed out loud as I searched for the "Are you freakin' kidding me?!?" button to select as you didn't even crack a smile or even make eye contact with me. I realize you are probably not thrilled to work for such a cruddy company, but there are other places that will pay you the same to do work that might be more appropriate for you. For example:

1. Golf Courses - you would be perfect at watching the grass grow so the greens managers can be aware of any problems on the course.

2. High School Detention Officer - nothing like watching the seconds click by along with the students, and it is very possible that you have super powers to make those seconds click by even slower (that's how it felt while in your lane).

3. Frown Judge - I know that isn't an actual job, but you would truly be excellent at it. I don't think I've ever seen anyone keep a frown on their face as long as you did. Did you know it takes more muscle work to frown than to smile?

Am I being a bit harsh? Probably, but I have yet to have a good experience in HellMart and I just need to quit hoping for things to change.

Sincerely,

Irritated, but optimistic mom

Where, oh where has my treadmill key gone?

Oh where, oh where could it be?

See this?

This is the “key” that makes my treadmill run. This is the key that my children have been apparently playing with and have lost somewhere in the depths of our bonus room (think needle in a haystack). This is the key I searched high and low for at 5am this morning because that is when I decided is the only time I can get in any sort of workout in my now insanely busy days.

Darn key! Darn kids! Darn treadmill!

Want to know what will stop a running woman in her tracks?

In my attempt to be a better blogger, I just had to go ahead and post this while I'm thinking about it (and while my critters are currently captivated in my diary from when I was 9 years old - such scandal in those pages).

I've been pretty slack with my exercise routine since the girls went to school, I went back to work, and apparently the PTO is trying to break the world's record of the most meetings in a two week period. I took advantage of some time this morning (I held my husband at gun point) and went for a run. Running in my neighborhood on a Saturday morning is a bit dangerous - especially for a deal whore like me.

There were THREE - yep, three - yard sales in our subdivision today. And - of course - I had to interrupt the great speed I was running (stop laughing) and stop and look. The first two sales didn't have anything to pique my interest, but the 3rd one was a winner! I made a few selections, took them to the homeowner, asked for a price, haggled a bit and told them I would be back to pick up my purchases.

Yep - I am the ultimate multi-tasker! I can exercise, listen to a book (on my mp3 player while running) and shop a yard sale all within 45 minutes. Woohoo!

And my purchases...well, I was able to score a brand new pair of Old Navy jeans, two brand new sweaters, a cool purse and a few other odds and ends all for $5. Ya gotta love that kinda deal!

busy, busy, bees

buzz, buzz, buzz - so much is going on. I promise to elaborate and post more pictures, but for now let me explain why there haven't been too many posts.

1. The girls started kindergarten.

2. I started back to work.

3. I am on the PTO Board.

4. I am Co-Room-Mom for one of the girls' class.

5. I am still the POTATO President.

6. I have lost my freakin' mind.

Yep - that's it in a nutshell.

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round n' Round

The girls rode the bus home from school for the first time last week. They were THRILLED!!!! Of course we had to get video of the momentous occasion.

PS. Could I sound any more southern? Geez!

We just love the Olympics!

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A little riddle

What happens when you unlock the van door and not closely watch your children while talking to several family members in the parking lot of a restaurant?

And the tears, they were a flowin'

I've done well this past week. I've not been a blubbering mess like many other mothers I've seen in the kindergarten hallways. Yes - I have shed a tear or two, but they were able to be daintily brushed away without too much ado.

Til today.

Today was our second full day of kindergarten with each girl's full class (they do a whole phasing in process in our county that involves half the class some days, half days on others, twister competitions and cattle prodding - basically MUCH ado). If students get to school early they sit in the gym separated by grade level and are then herded (that's where the cattle prod comes in) to their classrooms when the teachers are ready. The kindergartners sit in the middle of the gymnasium on the mascot's pictures.

I asked the girls if they wanted to sit with the other kindergartners and they were all for it. Ashlyn was already dancing on the mascot's head in the middle of the gym by the time I finished asking them. We sat down with the other kiddies and a few of their parents. After a couple minutes the girls looked at each other knowingly (they do that all the time and it drives me insane as I just KNOW they are using that twin mental telepathy!) and then Ashlyn said to me, "Mommy, you can go now."

Say what?!?

But I wasn't ready to go. I hadn't "let go" yet. I needed them to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be okay. I need them to hug me and pat me on my back til I calmed down.

Hey wait - who's the parent and who is the child here?

So I stood up, kissed them both and told them I loved them. I walked out of the gym and then watched them march out to the kindergarten hall without them knowing I was still there.

And then I cried all the way back to my van. Big alligator tears. And that's okay.

Yesterday was one of these days

Vacation Boo Hoo Breakfast

I've just recently been downloading pictures from our vacation and editing them to be made into a slideshow at some point (don't hold your breath). I came across these and just had to go ahead and post them.

After we loaded up the truck to leave Seagrove, we stopped by this quaint little restaurant in Seaside to have breakfast before hitting the road. We called it our Boo Hoo Breakfast as we didn't want to leave Florida. So we all made our saddest faces...




(side note: why on earth does it look like my hair is up in some sort of freakish bun. i almost look like a deranged conehead.)

Happy Birthday! (One Day Late)

“Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a daddy.”

-Anne Geddes

Happy Birthday Chris/Daddy!

(Actually yesterday was his birthday and we celebrated last night, but with all the craziness of kindergarten, I wasn't able to update the blog. This is my attempt at creative photography and fiddling with my Photoshop program. We printed out one of these and had it framed for Daddy's desk at work.)

1st Day of Kindergarten

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.

Anne Frank

1st Day of Kindergarten Breakfast - waffles and strawberries!

C'mon Mom! We're ready to go!

Anna in her classroom. Yep - that's a bathtub behind her. Cool classroom!

Ashlyn in her classroom. She was ready to boot me out the door at this point.

Now I have to go cry into my Diet Coke.

Bits from the Beach

Ok folks - I'm going to be very choppy with this post as Heaven knows how much time I'll have to myself out here on our deck (overlooking the ocean with the beautiful view and the choir singing Hallelujah and the cabana boys fanning me with palm leaves and feeding me grapes). I'm just going to touch on a few highlights of our trip so far...

Ashlyn has made it VERY clear that she is a beach girl. She loves everything about it and loves to go out surfing with her boogie board each day. She's doing an AMAZING job and is having a ball. Anna has made it just as clear that she is VERY much a pool girl and hates everything about the beach - "Too sandy! I'm scared of the jellyfish! (I can't blame her for that one.) Too icky!" She will do one thing on the beach (build a sandcastle, fly her kite, etc.) for about five minutes and then she is "DONE".

The below pic is from the day we arrived. It was the first time the girls had ever seen the ocean. We had a ball watching their reaction.

This pic is the same afternoon. I can just hear Anna's mind reeling right now - "What the heck is with all this sand in my butt!"

We drove down the 30A (local lingo for the road connecting several of the beach towns in this area) to Seaside. They filmed The Truman Show in this city and it is gorgeous. Lots of little quaint little shops with BIG prices. Nana and I walked into a fusion glass store (apparently that means Crazy Ass Prices in Seaside-eze) where I was playing with a glass globe that would spin around. Yes - it was very interesting. Yes - it looked like someone spent a lot of time making it. Yes - it was $10,000! Holy cow!!!! I immediately backed away and put my hands in my pockets for the rest of our time in that store.

It was a pretty city though and there were a few fun spots for photos. Here's one of the girls with Nana.

They also had a gelato store. I'm not sure if I've ever had a gelato before, but it was darn good. Kind of a combination of sorbet and ice cream. I had a few samples (apparently Chris tried EVERY flavor while we took the girls to the bathroom beforehand - of course - how the heck else would that boy make a decision - I'm surprised he didn't call up Consumer Reports and see if they had some sort of spreadsheet they could fax him at the store so he could make a more educated decision) and then I tried the Blood Orange flavor. YUM! It tasted just like the orange push pops from my childhood.

As you can see from Anna's pic below, she wasn't as big of a fan of the gelato as the rest of the adults were. The girls stuck with vanilla Blue Bell Ice Cream.

On Tuesday night, we went to Watercolor, Florida - an even nicer beachside town than Seaside - and enjoyed a local theatre performance there called "The Stinky Cheese Man". I won't give away all the details of the show, but it was darn cute and fun for the whole family. The girls loved it and it was nice to do something away from the condo for the evening.

The girls wore their new Seagrove Beach "Piranha" shirts to the show (thank you Nana) and we took a couple pics before we headed out for the show. Apparently there was going to be some sort of gang activity that night, as the girls were prepared with their best "homey" stare down poses. Oh - they are such dainty flowers.

And here are a couple more pics of the the girls with some of the actors from the Stinky Cheese Man show as well as the Stinky Cheese Man himself.

Vacation: Day 1

Well, we made it! Over 9 hours after we left Tennessee (three bathroom breaks and an hour lunch at Cracker Barrel sure add some time to the trip), we made it to Seagrove Beach, Florida! Woohoo! I thought we might have to sedate Chris as he HATES to stop on road trips and was a little less than thrilled with us for all the stopping, but his is WAY outnumbered and will just have to suck it up! I swear that boy wears a Depends while driving as he NEVER pees.

The girls were so cute when they first saw the ocean. The immediately wanted to get in the water, but we had to unload the vehicle first. As soon as we were done with that we headed to the beach. The sun was starting to go down, but we were able play in the surf a bit. I was also able to get my first ever jellyfish sting. Ouch! It isn't too bad now, but that sucker stung!!!

We'll have pictures soon, but I'm signing off for now as we are a bit tired and looking forward to a good night's sleep as we let the sound of the waves lull us to sleep.

These AREN'T just some of my favorite things...

When my mother called me up a few weeks ago and told me she was on a cleaning frenzy and going through all their stuff in the house and attic I thought, "Good for her". I'm all about getting rid of things that just aren't usable anymore. When she told me, "I'm going to send you some of your things we found" I thought, "Hey, that might be fun to go through some of my old childhood things" (before I hurl them into the trash or sell them on ebay).

However...

When she sent me three boxes of - well - let me just show you. Apparently my recollection of "my" items and her recollection of "my" items are VERY different!

Ah, yes - I have fond memories of playing with this lovely outlet cover. Obviously the sharp edges and pointy wings were no much for my toddler safety skills. Seriously? I'm pretty sure this isn't mine.


Hmmm...is it a cutting board (often used by children, of course)? Is it an unfinished wall plaque? Is it - hey, wait - is that my uncle's name written in pencil on it? Pretty sure it isn't mine.

I'm not saying I was never a victim of a fashion taboo, but I assure you this purse was never a part of my wardrobe. My style was more Madonna meets Molly Ringwald.

Is it just me, or does this plaque say, "Mr. Cook"? And does the bottom part say "Seniors '74"? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I was 2 years old then - not much into plaques - especially ones that were for my Dad. Nice try sneakin' that one into the box Dad.

I'm seeing a trend here. That would be "Coach Cook" at the top of that. In 1987 I was 15 and a high school cheerleader - NOT a "Coach".

This is probably one of my favorites. It is homemade bookends. I know this won't come as a shock, but those are not my initials. Hmmm...mom? Aren't those your initials before you were married? Yeah, I wasn't around before you were married...unless there's something you need to tell me...so this isn't mine.

The above are all items out of the first box I went through. I haven't even touched the other two and - frankly - I'm a bit scared about it.

And for you Mom? Just wait...I'll sneak some of these things back into your house somehow. You won't know when...and you won't know how....but.....bwah, ha, ha, ha, ha...

They get lippy with me all the time

A good friend of ours took this wonderful pic of the girls at Travis & Yayoi's wedding reception. Thanks for the pics Mike! And thanks for the Mick Jagger lips Papaw!

New Flickr Pics!

I just added some new Flickr pics to my right side bar. Just click on any of the pictures and it will take you to the main page for this set of pictures.

The girls and I met our wonderful friends at a new movie theater/shopping area where there were fountains outside. They had a blast!!!!

And - just as a teaser - I'm working on a post outlining the girls' trip to their grandparents last week. They were able to go visit Mom-Mom (Chris' grandmother) and Tantie (Chris' Aunt) while they were up there. This is a picture from their lunch with them.

Shhh...don't tell anyone

Our Homeowners' Association is a little persnickety (apparently I'm talking like my great aunt today - who the heck says "persnickety"?). They don't want any of us having gardens in our back yard. I understand that they don't want big bush-hogs coming in and tearing all the ground up, but I crack up every year watching my neighbors "sneak" a tomato plant or two into their back yard flowerbeds because of these rules. I mean, what the heck is the HOA really going to do? Throw those tomatoes at our houses? Make us write "I will not plant produce" a hundred times?

Anyway, we have never been drawn to grow anything really. Seriously - we have a rose plant that keeps coming back every year without any tender care from us. We do like to keep nice flower beds, but they are full of plants that don't need much maintenance. Let's just say Martha Stewart ain't knockin' down our door to do a show on our beautiful landscaping.

This year however, the produce growing fairies decided to bless our back flower bed with the most interesting choice of gourd - pumpkins. Actually, my dear hubby decided he might as well throw those unused pumpkin seeds from our carving experience last fall into the back corner flower bed. He never even considered that one of those little seeds might decide to take root. Well, our pumpkin seeds showed him!

Want to see what happens when you say, "hey, let's see what happens to this little pumpkin plant seedling"?

Yep - that is what is growing out of our flower bed, and it grows about a foot every day - no kidding. The HOA is NOT going to be happy with us, but we are now dead-set on having our own pumpkin farm and charging admission. Shoot - we may even offer hay rides (given by the girls pulling a wagon behind their bicycles) for another nominal fee (hey - someone has to pay for their college!).

So we are now plotting to keep the HOA from finding out we have this sucker. I mean - really - they could care less, but it is more exciting for us if we act like we're growing something illegal and are on the verge of getting "narced" on. DUDE!

And what will our family do with these truckloads of money we'll make from our pumpkin farm? Why we'll buy some pimp coats to go with our pimp hats and attitudes. Suh-weet!

Well, I'm "Do"ing it!

I know you are all on the edge of your seats waiting to hear the exciting list of things I've done each day since arriving back at home without the critters. So without further ado, here is a list from Tuesday (I didn't get back to my house til about 1:30pm) and Wednesday.

Tuesday...

1. Dropped off an item to be worked on as a gift. (I can't give details on this as the person the gift is for will read this.) There were decisions to be made and thus I made them with great authority - ta da!

2. Drop off two big bags of clothes at Goodwill. And what would a trip to Goodwill be without me perusing the aisles for items of interest. Hey - don't knock the Goodwill! I bought a Tommy Hillfiger shirt and a J. Crew sundress - both brand new - for less than $10. I sho' do love myself some good deals!

3. Fix the legs of our kitchen chairs. I bought these freakin' chairs on sale (of course - have I not mentioned how cheap I am?) several months ago and we can't keep the little things at the bottom of the legs on to save our lives. You know...those fuzzy things that keep your chairs from scratching up your floor. So I bought the industrial, restaurant-grade leg cover thingies and nailed (yes, a hammer was involved and I still have all of my fingers) those suckers on the chair legs. They work like a charm. Bob Villa ain't got nothin' on me!

4. Fix the blinds in the kitchen. Not sure why, but the previous owners ordered EXTRA LONG custom made blinds for our big kitchen window. I understand the custom order for the width of the window, but do we really need 6 additional feet of length at the bottom of those blinds. So I used my astute blind adjustment skills (mmm, hmmm) and shortened those boogers by about 15 blinds. Now it doesn't take three bar bouncers to pull those blinds up.

5. Wash the curtains in the girls' room and the kitchen. LONG overdue. Let's just say neither set had been washed since they were put up. Oh the dust bunnies were hoppin' all over the place and multiplying like crazy!!!

6. Order some things for POTATO. We have our Officer Transition dinner in about a week and I'm trying to get things in order. Yes - I'm President for one more year, unless they impeach me. But - barring any controversial intern affair scandal - I should be good to go til the next term.

7. General putting crap away. We have lots of STUFF. I swear I throw stuff out all the time, but it just keeps multiplying. hmmmm...maybe our stuff is in cahoots with the dust bunnies.

Chris and I spent the evening crashed out in front of the television. We live such exciting lives.

Wednesday

1. Clean the fridge. ohhh...this was a bit scary, but I put on a brave face (and a face mask and gloves) and dove right in. Actually, it wasn't too bad, but there was something that had apparently spilled down the back of the fridge that was very dark. I'm pretty sure it was some sort of Mexican squirting soy sauce, but it did have a scary resemblance to the dried blood I've seen on any of the bazillion CSI shows on TV. Honey, do you have something you want to tell me? Are you hiding body parts in our fridge somewhere?

2. Wash the girls comforters and mattress pads. Really meant to do that in the Spring, but never got around to it. Their beds are all nicely made and fresh. All ready for their return.

3. Clean the shower in the master bedroom. Normally, this is not a hard task, but - and not to be too gross - our shower was starting to look like a shower in a guy's fraternity house. ICK!!!! I was high on cleaning fumes the rest of the day, but by golly that shower practically glows!

4. Did two additional loads of laundry (mostly towels). There is just NOTHING I can write that would make this task seem even the slightest bit interesting.

5. Cleaned out the linen closet. Holy cow - this was quite a task, but it looks SO much better. I'm getting rid of a LARGE yard bag full of items that were taking up space in there. We had a couples sets of flannel sheets (yep - so frequently used in the south) from when we were in college, mismatched sheets, fitted sheets and pillow cases from who knows how many sets, and a few sets of VERY faded towels that have just worn out their welcome. It is amazing how much space it freed up. I can't wait to see what I find to shove in there now.

6. Went to the pool. Yep - I told myself I'm not going to work the whole time the girls are gone. It is a rarity that I am ever just by myself, so I'm going to enjoy it. It was nice being able to lay out in the sun with a book. That is a luxury that most mothers never get unless they are by themselves.

I made a nice dinner for Chris and I when he came home and then we went for a bike ride (ahhhh...we're so sweet). Then we came home and threw a football around. No, really...that isn't a double entendra for getting "frisky" (my mother reads this blog, so I have to be dainty with my words like "frisky"), we really tossed a football around. It was nice.

I'll have more updates on today's activities later - aren't you excited!?!