Hey Mommy, We've got a GREAT idea!

Back story: The girls received makeup with LOTS of glitter for their birthday and found those makeup cases we hid from their birthday party.

Anna: Mommy, can we put some make-up on you?

Ashlyn: Yeah Mommy, can we "stylize" you? (where did she pick up that word?)

Mommy (Sucker): Sure!

I looked like some sort of demented fairy. I had to wash my face 10 times (no exaggeration) to get the glitter off my face and I still didn't get it all.

What did you say?

I had a great break from regular life with some wonderful family members and will blog about that soon. But - just to put something on here for all my tens of fans...

You may recall the lovely (MUCH sarcasm there) letter/application from AARP I received a few weeks ago. Well, apparently word has gotten around of how old I am. I opened my mail yesterday and found this:

What the *&#^!!!!!!!!!

Apparently I'm on the "one foot in the grave" mailing list now. I'm just waiting for the cemetery plot and headstone ads to start rolling in.

Shelley Has Left the Building

I'll be back on Wednesday!

I've been tagged!

I have met some great bloggers during the Ultimate Blog Party! The wonderful woman at Not Trying for a Boy tagged me, so now I must fulfill my end of the bargain. Otherwise, a large group of angry mommy bloggers will hunt me down and throw dirty diapers at me!

The rules are:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

And here’s the meme:

What I was doing 10 years ago:
I was getting ready to move to Nashville (from Lexington, KY) to be with my boyfriend (now my husband). I was the manager of a large travel agency and was taking on a similar position here.

Five things on my To Do List today:
1. Don't throw up
2. Clean up the girls' throw up
3. Go through an entire case of Lysol to disinfect the house
4. Wash every linen in the house in McDonald's-Coffee-HOT water
5. Get well so I can go on my planned-for-months-girls-only-getaway with my mom, aunt and cousin.

Snacks I enjoy:
Chocolate chip cookies - the actual cookie, the dough, the ice cream - anything to do with chocolate chip cookies. I'm a BIG fan.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
- Hire a cleaning person and a personal chef.
- Tell my husband that he should quit his job and do everything he can to become a professional golfer.
- Travel - preferably to a place where hunky (who says that anymore? apparently me), scantily-clad men fan me with large palm leaves and feed me chocolate chip cookies.
- Plastic surgery - I won't get too graphic here, but I would like to say b-bye to my twin skin. Many of my readers will "get" that.

Three of my bad habits:
1. Picking at my cuticles. I'm in SERIOUS need of a manicure. I haven't done anything with my nails since the girls were born (over 5 years ago).
2. I tend to micromanage. I fight this urge almost daily. I sometimes think that things won't get done unless I'm in charge of it or at least checking on the project continuously.
3. I bite the inside of my mouth. I've done it for as long as I can remember - usually just when I'm bored or nervous. And I look like a crazy person doing it.

Five places I have lived:
1. Erlanger, KY (near Cincinnati, OH)
2. Maysville, KY (don't even think about trying to find it on a map - small town I lovingly refer to as Maysberry)
3. Richmond, KY (Go EKU! Ranked in Playboy's Top 10 Party Schools one year while I was there. Not that I participated in such behavior. Because I didn't! Really Mom, I didn't. I was busy in the library studying.)
4. Lexington, KY (Go Blue! But they are gonna BITE IT in the NCAA tourney this year - pitiful)
5. Nashville, TN

Five jobs I’ve had:
1. Lifeguard (man, I wish I had that body again - think Baywatch meets Gidget - ok, maybe not that good looking, but I was pretty cute once)
2. Aerobics Instructor (ok - now I'm depressed thinking about how fit I used to be. WHERE ARE THOSE PALM WAVING, CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE FEEDING BOYS WHEN I NEED THEM!!!!)
3. Marketing Director for a large bank
4. Travel Agency Manager
5. Account Services Manager for a large travel agency

Five people I want to know more about (a nice way of saying TAG!):
1. Becca at Abundance: One Day at a Time - a great friend and loves a good deal as much as I do.
2. Courtney at The Lawrence Family - another great friend and a SUPER shopping buddy.
3. Katie at FitMom2Twins because she needs someone to light a fire under her butt to start doing some posts on her blog. She's a great deal finding buddy too!
4. Jen at Sandy Eggo because I want her to know I'm thinking of her. Her husband (my cousin & a US Marine) was just sent back to Iraq for a 6 month tour.
5. Kimberly at Petroville because I adore her blog and she has a fantastic new blog design. I'm sure she's done this "meme" a hundred times already, so I don't expect her to do it again. But be sure to check her blog out.

Next!

Ok now critters - I have somewhere to be Sunday through Wednesday and if I get this flu you guys are batting back and forth like tennis players then I will not be a happy camper!

And if Momma ain't happy - nobody's happy!
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This little tidbit won't be a shock to most of you...

71%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Was there ever really a question...

...of how much of a nerd I am?

77 words

Speed test

Quick Question

Let's just say a certain someone...

A friend...

No, really...

It isn't me, it is a friend.

Anyway, let's say this friend is VERY cheap - even more so since she married her VERY cheap husband (not my husband, my friend's husband - really).

This "friend" also has a certain obsession with McDonald's Diet Cokes (ahhhh...sweet nectar of life).

Would it be so wrong if she (again - a friend, not me) held onto a previously purchased McDonald's large drink cup so she can get free refills when she goes to Wal-Mart (with a McDonald's built in) every once in a while?

I mean, McDonald's does offer "free refills" and there is no time restriction on when those refills have to stop.

And - technically - isn't she saving the environment (as well as about $1.75) each time she does this because she's not adding another styrofoam cup to our landfills?

I think we should call her a hero, don't you?

Long time, no read and evil caterpillars!

Craziness (as always) in the Riggs household lately - including (but not limited to) an ER visit and a lovely bout with the flu.

Anyway, I just had to jot this down while the story is still "hot".

First - you'll need to read this short article regarding this toy obviously invented by the devil himself (much sarcasm there).

The girls received this exact toy when they were tiny - probably a little less than a year old. Precious toy made by the VERY respectable Leap Frog company. Leap Frog specializes in educational toys.

That is what makes this story so interesting. Be sure to read the article prior to reading the rest of this post as it won't make much sense without you knowing the "facts". Man - I'm strict with my readers, aren't I?!?

Done yet?

Good - let's move on.

Now you will probably think the main point of the story is that Leap Frog should be ashamed of themselves for producing a toy that does this.

You would be wrong.

The main point of the story is "grandpa" is curiously busy trying to make a child's toy use profanity. Hmmm...me thinks grandpa needs to find a nice hobby. Maybe bead making, or stamp collecting or shuffleboard.

The even more disturbing part of this story is that I can absolutely assure all concerned parents out there that this wonderful toy does NO SUCH THING (unless the evil wizards at Hell-Mart have been tweaking the insides of it - I wouldn't doubt it). Doesn't sound disturbing yet, does it?

Here's the reason why it is disturbing that I know this information.

It is how I found out.

I have a wonderful, caring husband who - most of the time - acts somewhere near his age. I also have a wonderful, caring brother-in-law who falls in the same category. However, when the girls received this lovely toy, both "boys" spontaneously turned into Beavis & Butthead. I walked in on the two of them trying to use the toy's phonics feature to make it sound out curse words (apparently just like grandpa did in the story).

They were laughing just like those two MTV idiots.

Funny enough - the toy wouldn't let them do it. Genius Leap Frog people! Each time it would get to the last part of the curse word it would let out a giggle and not give the boys the satisfaction of completing the word.

Did these two stop at just a couple tries? NOOOOOOOOO! They tinkered with the stupid toy for probably 1/2 an hour trying to get it to say some sort of profanity. I think they finally gave up after agreeing to their success in getting the toy to say "poop".

Way to go boys!

Gitty Up!

Well Yeehaw, round 'em up, get some grub, howdee partner, yippee ti yeah, cow patty, Hi Ho Tonto!

That's all the cheesy "cowboy talk" I can think of right now.

Now, I'm off to find a saloon!

Ultimate Blog Party!

I'll post more on this in a minute, but I am slacking on the rules part.

Hey - there aren't supposed to be rules at a party!

I adore this girl!

Not many posts this week. Lots of craziness that won't be talked about here. I will be back to writing (and complaining and whining and so on and so forth) soon, but - in the meantime - please check out this video from one of my hilarious internet chicks. She cracks me up.

Hippity, Hoppity

Quick post here, but I want to get the pictures on the blog before Easter is over. Geez it is early this year (March 23rd).

Anyway, we went to an Easter "teaser" event this weekend at Opry Mills. Very cute. They gave the kids breakfast, did some crafts and the Big Bunny himself even made an appearance.

Here are a few of the better pics from the event.

Ash (purple) & Anna (green) displaying their craftiness!

Giving the Big Bunny a hug. The poor bunny was accosted by about 10 little ones after this, so this is the best shot we have of him with the girls.

Rare photo of bunnies in the wild. We caught them during a loving moment.

I have no words...

Lovely, just lovely

Mommy: Ashlyn, why did you cut a hole in the ottoman?
Ashlyn: I wanted to see what was inside it.
Mommy: But this is furniture honey. We don't cut holes in furniture.
Ashlyn: But Mommy, its really old and ugly.

Nice.

Guest Blogger

After giving my husband a hard time regarding his Oscar picks, I thought I would give him a guest spot on this blog.

First - a brief background. My cousin Scott (same Oscar picks cousin) does movie reviews throughout the year. He also does an end-of-the-year "Best/Worst" picks of all the bazillion movies he has seen.

To be funny (and a bit of a smart alek), Chris decided to send out his own version of this "Best/Worst" review. Check it out!
___________________________________________________

Now for my 1st Annual Silver Blueberry Awards of the Best and Worst list of Oscar nominated movies I have watched.

Please keep in mind that these are strictly my own views. I'm not an expert. Really (as you are about to see)!

Also, keep in mind that these are picked from only the movies I've seen (with possibly a personal viewing record of less than 5 hours.) (Side note: Scott, you watch that many hours on a cold, wintry day. Of course, you don't seem to have many of those in the desert. Scratch that. You watch that many hours on a hot, boiling summer day.)

I apologize in advance that this list is small, but it is to the point and covers some of the best and worst movies of the year.

Now for my top three list of best and worst movies of the year:

Chris’ Best 3 Movies of 2007

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End - This one is full of pirates, fighting, pirate ships and all the piraty things pirates do.

2. Surf’s Up - Dude. This was the big cohoona of penguin surfing movies this year. You need to hang ten and goofy-foot on over to the movie rental store for this one.

1. Ratatouille - Funny movie about a rat that cooks. A great replacement for a non-cooking spouse. And not only that, the rat talks too. A must see to believe.

Chris' Worst 3 Movies of 2007

3. Ratatouille - A rat under your hat controlling your arms is really hard to imagine.

2. Surf’s Up - Do they expect us to believe that a chicken could surf as well as a penguin? First place! Seriously?

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End - I wish pirates would speak clearly. I was constantly asking for clarification. Wear a hearing aide instead of an eye patch to watch this movie.

I hope you enjoyed reading my review. Please no comments as I am extremely busy preparing for next year. If Pixar made more movies...
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I love my husband!

Oscar Night at the Riggs Household

First off - I must give you a quick description of my husband's feelings toward movies.

He's not a fan.

Not just of certain genres, or certain actors, or certain directors - he's just not a fan of movies in general. He says he doesn't like to sit and watch something for that long.

hmmmm....let's think about that statement for a moment...

Last time I checked, a televised football game still lasts at least 3 hours and a basketball game lasts at least 2. Interesting...

Another bit of history...my cousin (Scott) has put out an Oscar Picks pool every year for as long as I can remember. He's a talented actor/writer and is very interested in all thing theatrical. I always participate and now my hubby participates. Are you seeing the irony yet?

Keep reading. It gets better.

It is RARE that I ever see many of the movies nominated for the Oscars. In fact, this year I only saw 3 of the movies and two of them were animated. Pitiful. The other movie starred one rather handsome man that the girls refer to as "Mommy's Friend". Let's take a quick moment to appreciate him, shall we?

Hubby saw the same three movies. Of course, he's not pining over Johnny Depp like I do, but he did somewhat enjoy Pirates III.

As we were watching the Oscars last night, my movie-despising husband begins to get irritated.

Was he upset because Anna won't go to sleep? Was he irritated about having to go back to work on Monday? Were his undies in a twist?

No.

His Oscar picks were wrong.

Are you kidding me?!?

I mean - he was seriously HACKED OFF because the picks he made in Scott's pool were wrong.

This is when he told me the most disturbing part of this tragic story.

HE RESEARCHED HIS PICKS!!!!!

He literally took the time to check out websites regarding what all the "pros" thought about how the Oscars would turn out. He analyzed all the information (probably making some sort of intricate spreadsheet knowing him) and based his picks on thoroughly scrutinized data. This is a man who could happily go through the rest of his life without watching another movie.

I am BESIDE MYSELF at this point. The whole situation is hysterical and he can not figure out why I am so amused.

The best part?

While they were showing little snippets for the best animated dog in a tutu award (no clue what it was really for), a clip came on for Peter the Wolf. This is when my husband said, "That won't win. It has SO been done before."

I almost peed my pants.

Taking the easy way out

I haven't posted here in a while, so I'm "cheating" and sending you to a site where I just posted an entry. I'm sure I'll have some more interesting stories to post soon, so stay tuned. Til then...

...check this out.

Split Ends

Thank Heaven!

I was able to get my haircut Monday!

Fellow POTATO mom and officer (as well as professional hairdresser) - Jana Davis - mistakenly told me how cute my hair would be stacked in the back at our last meeting. Ah - her fatal mistake - she NEVER should have shown interest in my hair as I quickly jumped at the opportunity to have her cut my hair. I had already heard she had cut other POTATO mom's hair and that they were VERY happy with the results.

You see, I go through these tragic hair phases (think Sweeney Todd meets Cybil) where I think I want to grow it out and then lose my mind in the process and command some poor hairdresser to shave my head. Usually, the hairdresser talks me out of the Sinead O'Conner look and we proceed with a short cut instead.

So Jana agreed to cut my hair. I really like it and hope I can schedule another time with Jana to get it highlighted. I'm thinking we can throw in some pink and blue streaks for fun -Yoohoo!

I didn't do a great job taking this picture, but you at least get the idea of how the cut looks. Feel free to let me know what you think of the new "do" in the comments.

Be Mine

I had to remove that OBNOXIOUS music that I stuck to the previous slide show. Mercy - that was like torture after a while. Sorry about that.

Anyway, there isn't any music attached to this slide show. This show is from Valentine's Day. The girls had a "Fairy Tale Tea Party" at school which was - well - interesting. I'll explain more later, but just keep in mind that Anna hates ANYTHING "Princessy". This caused quite a predicament in figuring out her outfit. You'll soon see how we compromised.

Hope you all had a Happy Valentine's Day.

What the...

I really will give a rundown of this past week at some point, but you know things are bad when you start receiving mail like this:

Yep - that's an AARP membership letter. What the heck!!!!! (I can tell you my initial response wasn't quite as sensored.) Last time I checked I'm still 35 - NOT 50!!!! And 35 is old enough - thank you very much! Geez! I'm also definitely NOT retired. If this is retirement, then someone send me back to work!!! I guess I had better start paying attention to those funeral insurance commercials, buy me one of those chairs that will mechanically take me up and down the stairs, and see if I can get an acting job on the next "Clapper" commercial. Mercy!

Thankfully - after my horrendous day yesterday - may husband came home with dinner and these.

I'm normally not a flower kind of girl, but these were exactly what I needed. Way to go honey. I love you!