911

Ashlyn: (From our upstairs balcony) "Mom, call the police!"

Me: "Why?"

Ashlyn: "Anna broke my golf club!"

Me: "I have the police on speed dial honey. They'll be right over."

I swear I'm not as crafty as this makes me look

So I've been suckered, I mean coerced, I mean had a gun held to my head, I mean been encouraged into becoming a lead teacher for our church's Vacation Bible School.

Actually, this church has everything very organized and I have some wonderful helpers that will be with me all week - yoohoo!

To get back to my craftiness (or lack thereof)...

Originally, we weren't supposed to be able to decorate our doors, but as of yesterday the decorating committee decided we were going to decorate the doors (riveting information, huh? are you asleep yet?). Now our age group's director had to come up with a door idea all the teachers in the preschool department (9 I think) could do on the fly. She gave me a call to run something by me and - since I had a meeting with my group in our classroom last night - I agreed to do what I could with her idea and go ahead and do my door (man, I'm snoring just typing this story).

Anyway, without further ado...here was the finished project:

I think the bamboo I drew on the lovely brown paper is really the highlight of the whole door, don't you?

We all know your children's names now...

HOLY COW LADIES (at our YMCA pool yesterday)!

It is break time. That's when (typically) your hellions, oops - I mean "precious children", are supposed to be resting for a short amount of time before going back in the pool. I used to be a lifeguard (and had the Baywatch body to go with it - ahhhh - those were the days) and even though you think those 5-10 minutes are a hassle as you have to actually pay attention to your children during that time (obviously not something you do on a regular basis), those are typically the only minutes the kids have to (forcibly) take a break from their strenuous pool activities during high temperature days out in the sun. It is done to help your children, not hack you off.

While I truly enjoyed listening to the two of you berate the lifeguards and their "silly" policies, my favorite part was you yelling at the two youngest of your children - Mason and Ashley. Do you know how I know what their names are? Easy. You must have screamed their names no less than 100 times during that 5-10 break. And by screamed, I mean truly SCREAMED. I mean they heard you clearly in downtown Nashville (and we were a good 20 miles away from there).

"Ashley, get away from the edge of the pool!"
"Mason, stop running around!"
"Ashley, get back here!"
"Mason, don't throw my dried apricots in the pool!" (which the mother made NO attempt to go get)
"Ashley, stop gnawing on the lifeguard's leg!"
"Mason, make your head stop spinning and stop yakking up that pea soup!"
"Mason, Mason, Mason, Mason, Mason!"
"Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley!"

How about this ladies!?! Sit your kids' butts down on a pool chair and tell them to stay there til the whistle blows again. Period. End of story. Now SHUT UP and I hope to NEVER sit near you again!

Summertime!

Summer has hit NashVegas full force and the Riggs family is planning on taking full advantage of every hot day! Even before the big pool opened, the girls decided to break out the little pool and make our own water slide. Of course our girls have vivid imaginations, so we couldn't just "play" in the pool. They wanted to play "lifeguard". Here's how it all worked out...

Man, that lifeguard is HOT!

Pomp & Circumstance

The girls graduated from Pre-School yesterday and it was quite the momentous occasion. Lots to write on this subject, but only photos for now.

I knew there was a reason I hated yard work

Meet Delilah and Priscilla - my pet names for the two HUGE black widows I found in our landscaping bricks just about an hour ago.

Great - now I'll have the eebie-jeebies all night.

I HATE SPIDERS!!!!! And these suckers are common in Tennessee. We'll be moving on Monday.

Time keeps on slippin'

I know I'm on a roll with pictures lately which probably isn't as interesting for those of you that aren't family, but I just can't help it. I think the reality that the girls are starting kindergarten in the Fall is slowly creeping up on me.

I really haven't felt too sad about the whole thing - til now. I had a good friend ask me how I was after signing the girls up for kindergarten about a month ago. She was concerned that I might be a bit upset. I wasn't - really. The girls were able to do a mini-tour of the school that day from a friend with an older child there already and there was lots of excitement in the air because school was still in session.

This same friend asked the same question after kindergarten orientation. I was fine - again. We received an "official" tour and the girls were able to meet all 6 kindergarten teachers and see all the classrooms. It was fun.

And - to tell the truth - I really haven't had time to think about this new milestone much. It is the end of the year at the girls' preschool, and - even though they only go a couple days a week - there are still lots of activities to plan for (Luau parties, graduation, bubble day). Plus, POTATO has required quite a bit from me lately, I've been preparing for Vacation Bible School, there have been soccer games & practices, and life is just busy in general. Just not much time to really sit and think about the girls growing up...

Yesterday I had a moment to think. I picked the girls up from preschool (it was Luau Day at preschool which explains the floral outfits and flowers in the hair - and, yes - I did have to hold Anna down to get her in this) and it was a gorgeous day. We immediately went outside when we got home and started playing with some new bubble things. I grabbed the camera on my way out the door as an afterthought. I just started popping off some pictures and luckily nailed this shot.

It isn't perfect, but I love the way the bubbles help tell the story of how much fun they had. Then I started thinking of how we only have a couple months of "fun" before school starts. Craziness. I took several more pictures (including the one below) and then just sat back and watched them have a good time. I tried to breath in every moment so I could hold onto it forever.

Here's hoping for an endless Summer...

Mother's Day Photo Session

Most mothers tend to not be in many pictures with their children as they are the picture takers of the family. This is the case with our family as I am a bit of a camera slut and love taking tons of pictures, but rarely include myself.

On Mother's Day I just hoped I could get one sweet picture with my girlies...

Nice face Ash, let's try this again.

Ok girls - look at the camera and try to smile.

Nice forced smile Ash and what the heck is that face Anna?!?

Oh just forget it! We'll try again next Mother's Day.

Now can you tell who's who?

We went to the eye doctor a couple weeks ago and found out both girls have astigmatisms. Yep - they inherited so many wonderful traits from their parents: allergies from me and eye issues from Chris. Lucky girls!

Ashlyn's eyes require glasses immediately and Anna gets to wait a year or two (much to her dismay as she was all excited about getting glasses too).

I took Ashlyn to pick out her frames (purple metallic) and she did an amazing job. So for those of you that have a hard time figuring out who is who, you will have it a bit easier for a while.

I know she is my daughter and I'm a bit biased, but I think she looks pretty darn amazing in glasses. Not everyone can pull them off like she does.

* Disregard the lovely blue tape on the bathroom wall in this picture. We are in the process of painting that bathroom. Also disregard the photographer in the background as she is not wearing any makeup and is sporting one ugly headband.

Bits & Pieces

• Holy cow! I'm exhausted! Haven't had a full night's sleep since Thursday as Anna has the cough from Hades (literally sounds Hellish - like we're calling in the exorcism people ). It has been getting better, but now she has another UTI. Lovely.

• I didn't care how tired I was, I was going to the POTATO meeting last night. It was Spa Night!!! Yoohoo!!! The scantily clad men fanned us with palm leaves while firemen type guys fed us grapes. Ok - not really - but there was a chocolate fountain and that's all I needed to know to get me there.

• My feet STILL hurt from the Country Music Half Marathon! What the ?!? I'm using that as my excuse for only going to the gym once since the run. Hmmm...maybe I should call the scantily clad men from last night to rub my sore tootsies....mental note.

• Ashlyn woke me up this morning with a cough that sound like a barking seal. Yep - she's now sick and so am I. Who saw that one coming? Anyone, anyone...

• Trying to figure out what to do to keep the three of us sickies entertained today without having to exert too much energy. Hard to do with two VERY active 5 year olds.

• I'm pretty sure my husband ran to get out of the house this morning. I get the feeling he doesn't want to be around us for some reason. I can't imagine why..hack, hack, cough, snort.

• I volunteered to teach Vacation Bible School this summer at the church we've been "visiting" for the past year. You would think I would have learned to say "no" to requests like this since my VBS experience a couple years ago scarred me for life. This group seems to have everything very well organize. I have high hopes.

• It is slowly creeping up on me that the girls will be starting kindergarten in the fall. We went to registration and to orientation, and the girls are getting more and more excited about it. When the heck did they get old enough to go to Kindergarten!!??!! Crazy!

• I have about 10 bins around the house where I've reorganized the stuff I plan on selling at the next POTATO consignment sale and transitioned the closets from winter stuff to summer stuff. They've been hanging out for over a week and the girls are starting to give the bins names. Hmmm...I guess we had better put them up in the attic sometime soon.

• I'm going to fix me some hot tea and continue hacking up a lung. This is destined to be a great day!

Go, Baby, Go

This is going to be fairly quick as I am trying to fit about 3 weeks worth of cleaning into one 3 hour time period (the kiddies are at Pre-K - Yoohoo). Anyway, I wanted to get these on here because I have some family members (yep, that's right Mom & Dad - I'm talkin' to you!) that are harassing me and sending me threatening messages. This is not at all unlike them. They have been so cruel to me over the years....someone hand me a Kleenex and get me a couch to lay down on. I'll tell you all about it.

Ok - just kidding. I grew up in the most Cleaver-ish home ever. I have wonderful parents who don't have a bad bone in their bodies (well - maybe a couple bad bones - but just like the little pinkie toe bone - tiny - insignificant). Plus, I need to speak well of them as I want to stay in the will. Heck - who are we kidding - I'm an only child and will get everything anyway. Bwah - ha - ha - ha (evil laughter sounds in case you were trying to figure that out).

Now what was I saying...? Oh, yeah - this is supposed to be a quick post - oops. So much for that. Let's see what I can do...

Chris and I took the girls to Lexington, KY a couple weekends ago. That is where I lived before moving to Nashville for some boy (oh, that's right, he's my husband now). Anyway, we visited the location of our first "date" - Keeneland Racetrack. If you have never been there, it is worth the trip. I know when most people think about Kentucky horse racing they think of Churchill Down in Louisville - where the Derby is held - but I personally think Keeneland is much nicer.

So - without any further ado (and, man! I've been "ado-ing" a lot in this post) - here are a few highlight pics of our trip. I've added a flickr pics feature on the right like the one from the 1/2 marathon, so just click on that for more pics. I've added descriptions so you can know what's going on.

This is my friend Neal. Our families have known each other for years and we've stayed in touch. He and his wonderful wife (Christy) have a beautiful little girl (Mayson - in the green jacket) and they joined us at Keeneland on Saturday morning. Keeneland lets you walk around their barn area and see the horses up close.

Here's Mayson, Ashlyn & Anna in front of the jockey statues in Keeneland's Paddock area. Chris and Neal weren't able to take this picture because they were shaking in laughter from one of the winning horses listed on the plaques the jockey's are holding. The name of the horse was "Panty Raid". Boys will be boys.

Lexington has a wonderful children's museum called the Explorium. We were there a little over two hours and the girls didn't want to leave. This picture cracks me up as the baby doll seems to be looking at me pleading for help.

This is part of the phenomenal sculpture/statue exhibit in downtown Lexington. There is a great story that goes along with this about the creation of it, but I'm not sure of it and will have to get back to you. The girls loved being at the "finish line". They were quickly done though and started heading back to the van. Luckily, they didn't notice the lovely homeless man relieving himself in front of God and everybody just up on the hill.

I didn't quite hear you...

Doctors' offices are somewhat like libraries - people tend to whisper while in the waiting room. This is especially true when patients are telling, what can be, very private information to the receptionist regarding their reasons for being at the doctor's office. Not everyone in the waiting room wants to hear about hemorrhoids, pussy lesions or bowell activity, so the whispering is usually greatly appreciated by those not involved in the conversation.

Apparently, not everyone is aware of this whispering rule.

Specifically the lady speaking with the receptionist at my allergist's office.

Scene: I walk into the office and scan my handy-dandy allergy shot card through the scanner (amazing little machine). There is a woman speaking with the receptionist. I don't pay much attention to her. Yet. I have a seat and wait for my name to be called.

Lady: (LOUDLY) I ain't got my surgery scheduled yet, but it'll be happenin' right soon. (I'm serious. I could not make this dialogue up.)

Receptionist: (I have no clue as she was speaking softly - like she should be. I can only imagine it would be something like this...) That's fine ma'am. Just leave that section blank and proceed to the next question on the form.

Lady: (Oblivious to the fact that the receptionist is whispering for a reason - speaks LOUDLY again.) I'm havin' that Lap Band surgery cause I'm fat! That's s'posed to make me lose all this here weight. I'm really fat now. Dontcha' think?

Receptionist: (Now looking for the nearest exit. And since I still can't hear her because she is WHISPERING, I can only make this part up.) Ma'am I'm sure you are excited about your surgery.

Lady: (Still LOUD) Yep. I'm gonna be thin like them Super Models on TV. I can't wait to buy me some new clothes and look all sexy. (I'm trying desperately not to snicker at this point as I shove my head even deeper into the magazine I'm pretending to read.) I'm sure I'll be hurtin' for a while after the surgery, but soon I'll be rarin' to go.

At this point the nurse calls my name and I have to leave the waiting room area to get my shot. When I come back out, the lady is now seated filling out the rest of the form and the poor receptionist is in the hallway outside the doctor's office splashing water on her face trying to get the image of that lady in her new "sexy" clothes out of her head.

Here's to hopin' that Lap Band surgery is a success. Maybe she'll be able to tell us all about it the next time I come in for my shot.

More Country Music Half Marathon Pics

For those of you who might not have known, I've been training for the Country Music Half Marathon for approximately three months. It has been a lllllloooonnnnnggggg journey, but I met the light at the end of the tunnel (quite literally as I struggled my way to the finish line) yesterday when I completed the Nashville Country Music Half Marathon.

For those of you that know me well, feel free to mock and tease me for this endeavor as I know it is killing a few of you. I'm 5'1" and don't really have the body of a runner unless the runners you know look like any of the Oompa Loompas. Let the teasing begin.

13.1 miles BABY!!!!! And I ran the whole way! That is a major accomplishment for me as my longest distance running before yesterday was 10 miles during my training.

Three members of the Hot POTATO team crossed the finish line along with another POTATO mommy (Yeah Tammy) and my good friend Amy crossed the finish line with me. I swear I wouldn't have been able to run that whole thing without her by my side. Thank goodness we ran at the same pace. Thanks Amy!

It was a wonderful experience and I will definitely sign up to do it again. I feel like I can accomplish just about anything now, but there is still NO WAY I'll be doing that full marathon any time soon. Those people are NUTS.

I have added a Flickr Pics feature to my side bar on the right. Just click on it to see more pictures from the day's events. There are several including many of the girls. Chris and the girls were able to see me at five different locations along the race course and they were definitely an inspiration for keeping me running.

Man, my feet hurt!!!!!

Yeah baby! I finished! And the paramedics didn't even have to carry me over the finish line!

I ran the whole thing and can't tell you how impressed I am with myself for that. I've been training for three months and today was the moment of truth.

My girls and wonderful hubby came down to support me and I'll have pics they took on here soon. As soon as I recover and regain the use of my legs.

Please keep me in your prayers...

Mercy, mercy, mercy...just let me make it across that finish line...

So many stories, so little time

It has been a whirlwind the past couple weeks. Lots going on and no time to blog about it. I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself, "That would make a great blog post", but I just haven't sat down to type it all down.

As I collect all my thoughts - and there are many - I thought I would post this quickly written story I sent in as my President's letter for the POTATO group.

Enjoy.
_____________________________________________

As parents we try to teach our children all we can: the difference between right and wrong; keep your fingers out of the outlets, say “please” and “thank you”, don’t run with scissors. Sometimes our children surprise us along the way and teach us a little something. This recently happened to me.

My 5-year-old girls are playing soccer. Yep – I’m a soccer mom and proud of it! Last year we annihilated every team we played (not that we kept score, because we aren’t supposed to do that at their age – yeah, right). Consequently, the league is making us play several 6-year-old teams this year to help even out the playing field a bit. This past Saturday we played one of those 6-year-old teams. They were bigger and seemed WAY more organized, but we were holding our own and staying in the fight. Fight is precisely the right word. One of the little brats – oops, sorry – I mean angelic players from the other team started hurling himself in front of our players making them trip. He did this repeatedly without his coach saying a word. Of course, the parents of the kids on our team had a few choice words, but we kept the comments to ourselves. Then another little monster – sorry – precious child on the other team started shoving kids – MY KIDS! OH HECK NO!!!!!

The first time I let it slide. Ashlyn stared the boy down and kept on running. The second time he pushed her right in front of his coach. I thought for sure the coach or the obviously blind ref would say something to this kid, but the game kept going. The third time he did it in front of me. BAD. MOVE.

I jumped from my luxurious lawn chair and screamed (no exaggeration here – I truly screamed) “NO, you will NOT do that to her!” That kid turned stark white and everyone went silent. At this point my daughter was in tears as he had pushed her to the ground and I rushed to pick her up. As I held her in my arms I told the ref and the coaches they had better do something about the pushing and shoving.

Then I tended to my daughter. I was prepared to hold her the rest of the game and buy her every flavor of snow cone they had at the concession stand. I asked her repeatedly if she was okay. She started telling me, “no, mommy, no”. I didn’t understand. And then she made it crystal clear. “No mommy. I don’t want anything. I want to get back in the game.”

My little hero didn’t want to be consoled. She wanted to get her tail back into that game to show that other team what she was made of. And she did. We beat that 6-year-old team 2 to 1. And I learned that my girls can handle many things on their own now. I still have a lot to teach them, but I will now pay more attention to the lessons they can teach me along the way.

Me????? Sarcastic????? No..........surely not

I come from a VERY sarcastic family. Actually there is quite a bit of sarcasm on my mother's and father's side of the family, so it was inevitable that I would be a sarcastic little twit. Don't ya love genetics.

Anyway, my friend Courtney sent me this in an email today and I literally laughed so hard I had to clean the Diet Coke off my computer screen. Enjoy! You may have to click on it to read the verbiage.

Easter was early - Pictures are late

I just realized I didn't post any Easter pics - oops!

The Easter Bunny decided to do a scavenger hunt for the girls' Easter baskets since it was FREEZING outside on Easter Sunday. The Bunny had little notes for the girls in each room which eventually led them to their room for the baskets. The girls LOVED it!

Here are some pics.

Universal Ticket Usage

Scene: Driving toward downtown NashVegas with the critters in the back. Looking at the skyline and other Nashville landmarks - more specifically - the Titans' Stadium.

Mood: The girls have been wanting to see a football game since birth. Bless their hearts! They have no choice but to love football since they were born in SEC country.

Dialogue (right after they spot the stadium):

Ashlyn: Mommy, we want to go to a football game.

Anna: Yeah Mommy. When can we go to a game?

Mommy: Girls, football tickets cost quite a bit of money and are hard to get, but we're trying.

Ashlyn: But Mommy, we have tickets at home.

Anna: Yeah, we have tickets.

Mommy: What do you mean girls? We don't have tickets at home.

Ashlyn: Yes we do. We have LOTS of Chuck E. Cheese tickets at home. Let's use those.

Mommy: Wouldn't that be nice...

Open Letter to Pediatrician

Dear Dr. Pain-in-my-arse;

While I appreciate you giving us one of the first appointments of the day so we don't have to wait for the new millennium to roll around while in your waiting room, I'm not thrilled with today's Kindergarten Well-Child Visit for my twins.

It started off well. Your friendly nurses did the whole height, weight (I actually cringed when the girls jumped on the scale due to my own fear of getting on a scale), eyesight and hearing. The girls were quite amused with the process and things were moving right along.

We got in a room and I was given the questionnaires. Ah, yes - there is nothing I like more than paying for a doctor's visit so I can perform a large part of the check-up.

What do I mean?

This questionnaire is supposed to be conducted by the parent to the child without anyone else in the room. This doesn't make a DARN bit of sense as my children (as do most) do MUCH better with any activity when I'm not around. And - last time I checked - I won't be sliding my fat butt in a teeny tiny desk next to them in Kindergarten, so WHY am I conducting this test!?!

The test was made up of cognitive type questions. For example:

1. Have your child stand on one foot and count how many seconds.

I'm sure it didn't effect the answer that I had them hold on to the wall, did it?

2. Ask your child which of these pictures makes a "moo-ing" noise. Pictures of a horse, cow, bird, man and dog were the choices.

They both picked the right answer (Cow for those of you playing at home), but I was willing to accept "man" considering we weren't informed of how much Jack Daniels the man had consumed prior to the actual "moo-ing" sound. I'm just saying I've seen many a drunk person make many a sound.

3. Have your child define the following: ceiling, cup, house

Normally, this wouldn't have been an issue, but when you are asking one child and you are still in the VERY SMALL patient room with the other child it is hard to get two original answers here. Not a very thorough test.

4. Can your child dress themselves without help?

Yes, but only if they haven't had too much Jack Daniels. Refer to question 2.

5. Can your child choose their own clothes?

Of course, but those clothes will never match and will - most likely - include some sort of fairy wings or Spiderman mask. What the #%*$!!!!!

You get the gist of it. But the questions went on FOREVER!!! I was literally in the tiny (I swear the walls were coming in on me) room with them for almost an hour.

Then you graced us with your presence. I have to admit - you are not my favorite doctor in the practice and I openly ask to see one of the other three wonderful physicians in your practice when I have a sick kid. I didn't think a physical would be a huge deal and thought you would be able to handle us without too much of a problem.

Yeah, right.

All was well when you came in. You reviewed their test results and other data and concluded that they can start kindergarten. Then you said the dreaded word out loud:

"SHOTS"

I'm very open and honest with my kids. I don't promise "no shots" as you just never know, but I wasn't prepared for 5 shots. Holy cow! I read over the literature and even the school had those shots listed as the last ones to get before kids start kindergarten, but springing "5 shots" on twin 5-year-olds is just cruel. Not to mention the fact that you still had a good 15 minutes before you could have the shots ready to give them. So - while you and the nurses took your time chasing down the chickens for the chicken pox shot, my girls spent the rest of what seemed like an eternity in the tiny room screaming their heads off, clinging to me and begging me to take them home.

When you stuck your head in about 10 minutes into shot "prep" time and said "we are getting them ready as fast as we can", I had a hard time not ripping your head off. Since you should be grateful you still have a head you shouldn't have looked at me like a deer in the headlights when I said to you, "No, please, take all the time you need. We're having a blast in here." in the MOST sarcastic voice I could muster over all the screaming and crying. Good times!

Your nurses were on the ball once the shots were ready. They had them done in nano-seconds. Thank goodness. Ash was good to go once the suckers and stickers were handed out (ah yes - she can be bought out by the best of them), but I knew Anna was going to make me pay for this the rest of the day. Lovely.

Hopefully I won't be seeing you again anytime soon.

Sincerely,

Mom to two Kindergartners (When the heck did that happen?!?)