Bathroom Etiquette

When you have an odd sense of humor (ya know - kinda like me), you sometimes forget where and with whom that sense of humor should be used. Since starting back to work in an office building, I have become increasingly aware of things that may be appropriate for the home and among friends/family compared to things not appropriate in the workplace.

For example...

I work in a 6-story office building. Each floor has a men's and women's public restroom for all floor occupants to use. We share our floor with about 5 other businesses. I am not close friends with ANY of the people within these 5 other businesses, and I'm pretty sure I'm not related to any of them. The doors to the men's restroom and the women's restroom are only about 12 feet apart.

So what have I learned...?

I learned that yelling "Race ya!" to the male individual entering the men's restroom while I am entering the women's restroom is not the most appropriate thing to do. Especially when you have NO IDEA who that particular man is, where he works or who he might know. You will find that the man will then do all he can to avoid you in the future (i.e. stall getting on the elevator so as not to share a ride with me, now use the men's bathroom on another floor, etc.).

When will I learn...?

Yeah - he was a freak, but he was a defining part of my childhood

I could do the entire Thriller dance.

My friends and I used to have "dance-offs" to all the songs on his albums. (Those are round objects used to play music back in the olden' days kiddies. Geez, I'm old.)

I literally screamed when I saw him do the moon walk the first time on tv.

I wore out the carpet in our living room trying to learn how to do the moon walk.

I am sad. Sad for his kids, his devout fans, his family, his monkey (ok - not the monkey, but you get the gist).

He truly was an amazing artist and will always be the "King of Pop" to me.

I know, I know...

I'm just going to pretend that I've been blogging daily and we'll just disregard my "friend's" post below (paybacks Miss Courtney...paybacks). I'm just going to jump right back into this like no time has passed. However, just seeing that THIS happened 15 years ago today makes me feel VERY old. Holy cow! Really?!?

Anyway, most of you know how cheap I am. If not, feel free to review this post and this post to refresh your memories.

Today may have been my greatest cheap moment of my coupon clipping career.

I'll try not to make this too long, but - who am I kidding - grab a chocolate chocolate chip muffin and a Super-Sized Diet Coke and start reading...

I am an AVID coupon clipper and always try to find the best ways to use these lovely coupons to the benefit of our bank account. A website I have been frequenting (HERE) posts available coupons and sales at places like C-V-S. The latest was a deal where I could buy $60 of Aveeno Suncare products, use two $10 off coupons, two $1.50 coupons and then get back $30 of store credit. For those of you mathematically challenged, this would mean I would get $60 worth of products for about $7.00 - CRAZY! I literally drooled just reading about the deal on the site.

I went to C-V-S on my lunch break today and was prepared! I chose my Aveeno products, had my coupons in hand and practically skipped up to the counter. The cashier (the photo chick standing in for the regular cashier) rang up my purchases, scanned my coupons and took my credit card. She handed me my receipt and smiled. I smiled back and said, "Where's my $30 in C-V-S Bucks? Someone will get seriously hurt if I don't have those Bucks in my hand NOW!" Ok - I didn't say that last part, but my stoic look relayed my message. She and I both forgot about my C-V-S card - oops. HEAVEN FORBID! A debate went back and forth between her and the passing manager and then the manager said, "You can only get a $10 CVS Bucks credit per purchase, not per $20 spent". HUH?!? But she calmly pointed out the verbiage in the CVS ad letting me know this stupid, asinine, capitalistic rule was true - oh the humanity!!! I said, "fine, just return the items as I don't want to pay that much for them".

What happened next will go down in history as one of my top 3 savings moments of all time. Stay with me readers. This story is about to get exciting! Well - maybe not too exciting, but if you are a coupon-clipping, savings freak like me, you won't be able to stop reading!

The cashier said, "Ma'am, we charged your card $52 for the items, but I'll have to refund you $75 and keep the coupons as CVS doesn't allow us to apply coupons to returns."

Wait for it...

I then say, "You're telling me that you are going to pay me $23 to just let you keep the coupons I already gave you for items that I have no intention of now purchasing?"

The cashier says, "Basically...yes".

SOLD!

So - for about 10 minutes worth of shopping, checking out and returning items, I earned $23. Holy moly - I love saving money!

More to come...

Hijacked!

Hello everyone! This is Shelley's buddy, Courtney, and I've hijacked her Blog. I've hijacked her Blog because I miss her and her posts. I miss seeing pictures of the critters (Shelley's loving terms for her beautiful girls), I miss seeing pictures of her and hubs and I miss my dose of SARCASM. I feel like Shelley girl has added this to her daily medications......

Shelley, STOP TAKING THE MEDICATION! Please, please, please come back to the blogging world! I miss you.....we all miss you (Grandparents - I need your help here)!

The Proud Maniacs!

The signs are made.

The blue hair paint is purchased.

The cow bell is lost (bwah, haw, haw - it was actually hurled into the garbage dumpster last year because COW BELLS ARE ANNOYING and my husband thinks it is funny to let the girls ring them incessantly).

The shirts are packed (as it is field trip day at school and they have to wear their school shirt for that).

Makenzie's numbers are up high enough where she can run/walk with the rest of the Maniacs (her "numbers" had to be above 500 for her to be able to do that).

The van is decorated.

Let's get this Kid's Marathon started!!!!

And let's hurry up about it as Momma needs some sleep if I'm going to run 13.1 miles in the morning.

So here's the deal....

I'm going to pretend I haven't stopped blogging for the past few months. I plan on being in complete denial and I encourage any readers of this blog (if there is anyone still out there) to join my denial party.

I almost thought about giving it up, but I find this blog is a little bit of therapy for me. And - let's face it - I need as much therapy as I can get (shut it!).

Now - imagine a nice swirly haze appearing before your eyes and....

POOF!

I've been posting every day for the past several months and you find my writing to be enchanting and humorous. Got that? ENCHANTING & HUMOROUS!!!! Say it with me now.....ENCHANTING & HUMOROUS.

Allright, I'm done trying to hypnotize you. Let's move on...

I'm running the Country Music Half Marathon again. Well - I'll probably be walking some of it as I have sucked at my training program and my right foot is being problematic. I would go to the doctor about it, but my cheapity-cheap husband suggested I do the race and then visit the on-site medical tent afterward for some FREE healthcare. Always thinkin', that boy is. I love that he and I are on the same wave-length financially as most wives would not be happy with that suggestion, but I think it makes me love him even more - ha! I'm all about saving the dollars!

The girls are doing the Kid's Marathon Friday night. They have been practicing for the past month after school with other elementary students. The deal is they are supposed to run 25 miles prior to the final race day and then they do the last mile at the event. We've had over a month to do this and they girls have done fairly well. It is typically 3rd-6th graders that do it, but there are a few kindergarten kids that are doing it as well.

And the reason we are all running....?

...for THIS amazing little girl. There has been LOTS happening with this family and you can read all about it on their CarePages web site. The whole family is amazing and there is NOTHING that will keep any of us from crossing that finish line in her honor. Makenzie ROCKS!

I will be sure to post pictures on here so you can all celebrate with us.
________________________________________

Whew! I think I've overdone it with the blogging for right now. You can't just take 3-4 months off and jump right back into it without suffering some type of brain freeze-like symptoms.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. I have one quote to leave you with that will (hopefully) get me to the finish line on Saturday. Let's pray I find that "will to succeed".

"The body does not want you to do this. As you run, it tells you to stop but the mind must be strong. You always go too far for your body. You must handle the pain with strategy...It is not age; it is not diet. It is the will to succeed."

- Jacqueline Gareau, 1980 Boston Marathon champ

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! I am brand new to this, but you can find out the details on MckMama's blog. You basically confess to things you may have done during the previous week, but do it in a way that offers up COMPLETE denial of the crime.

First, I AM NOT the type of worker that updates her blog during the first hour of work as this is the only time I have true peace and quiet where I can finish an entire thought in my head without "Mommy" being screamed at me - typically in stereo. Nope - that would be horribly unethical. mmm...hmmm...yes, it would.

I DID NOT let my children decorate their birthday cake with over an inch of extra sprinkles. Everyone likes a little extra crunch to their cake anyway.

I also DID NOT give them permission to use every type of sprinkles we had. For example: Easter bunnies, Halloween balls, spring flowers, gingerbread men, Christmas jimmies and Valentine's hearts.

I DID NOT completely agree with my mother-in-law that we should name the cake "The Carnival Cake" (pronounced "car-nee-vol" to make it fancier). That name's gonna stick!

I DID NOT hysterically laugh at watching my husband and our friend Nathan break it down while playing Dance, Dance, Revolution last night.

I WOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER gloating about my butt-whoopin' performance against my father-in-law, my husband and our friend, Nathan playing Mario Kart on the Wii. First place feels mighty good boys. Not that I would EVER say that (tee hee).

I DID NOT say a small, mostly-non-offensive curse word when I realized I had not taped House last night.

I DID NOT lick the icing spreader clean after finishing icing 45 cupcakes.

Those are all the "confessions" I have for now. This could be a LOT of fun. I'm all about denial!

Happy 6th Birthday Critters!

I'm slowly getting our computer back up to speed, so please be patient with me as it is hard to update a blog from work when your cubicle is in the middle of the office. Darn nosy co-workers!

A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our now 6-year-old girls! You girls ROCK!!!!

Back to Basics!

We have had lots of computer drama lately. I won't bore you with the details, but we are finally getting the sucker back on track (either that or I'm slinging it out our second story window). So - until I have a chance to redesign a header and play with the layout, you will all have to suffer with this VERY basic blog design. I

think you'll live.

Tales from the absent blogger and a Happy Birthday shout out to my cousin!

Ok - yes - I've been out of commission on the blog front, but am getting back into the swing of things. Our computer is starting to work like it should, so I hope to have more frequent updates starting soon (notice how vague I am with that word "soon").

We just installed our new All-in-one, handy-dandy printer/scanner/faxer/chopper/grinder/blender and I just HAD to see what would happen if I scanned something.

Hmmmm...I think it is my cousin's birthday today...yep - I KNOW it is.

So - Billy (sorry, I still can't get used to calling you Bill) - this is dedicated to you.

How precious were we?!?!?

Here she is!

How sweet is this little baby!?!?

Anna with her new cousin.

Ashlyn with cousin Rika.

Baby Rika is Here!!!!!

Chris and I are now officially an uncle and an aunt! Woohoo!!!!!

Travis and Yayoi had Rika Nicole this morning and we are SO excited. She weighed in at 7 pounds 14 ounces and is 20 inches long.

Poor Yayoi has been in labor for about 24 hours - she ROCKS!

Travis is just plain giddy about the whole thing.

They will be FANTASTIC parents and we couldn't be any happier to welcome little Rika into our crazy family.

The girls are THRILLED to have a baby cousin, but they are already refusing to change diapers - little wimps!

Now if I can just think of some things to teach little Rika to drive her parents crazy - hee hee.

I'll have pictures and more posts soon. Yes - I've been VERY bad at posting, but I have lots of great excuses for that which I will share later.

Breakfast with Santa

Ashlyn - how do you like your Christmas outfit this year?

Anna - how about you?

The Parents of Twins & Triplets Organization's (POTATO) Breakfast with Santa was a HUGE hit. This is probably my favorite POTATO event of the year. This year we had it catered and charged a small fee for members to attend. Woohoo! Everyone loved that they didn't have to cook and bring a dish and we didn't have to worry about running out of a certain food (happens EVERY year we've done a potluck and usually ends up with a big ole smackdown between mothers). Big shout out to Baptist Hospital for giving us the auditorium for free and to Sodexho (catering) for giving us a great breakfast.

Kudos to Santa and Rudolph too! Rudolph was a little surprise one of our awesome members helped provide. The kids flipped when he came in. Our girls definitely loved him.

That Elf-in Time of Year Again

Thanks Courtney - for reminding me of Jib Jab. This just makes me giggle.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Because the video just didn't do the outfits justice

Dance! Dance! Dance!

The girls were invited to a birthday party this past weekend. It was held at a local dance academy - great idea for a party. Ashlyn was pretty excited about the whole thing and was thrilled when I took them to buy leotards at Hell-Mart earlier in the week.

Anna? Not so thrilled.

She thought that "Dance Party" apparently meant "I'm-going-to-have-to-wear-some-sort-of-frilly-dress/skirty-thing-and-that-will-scar-me-for-life Party".

Once I convinced her she could wear the leotard with pants, she was fairly good to go.

We showed up for the party along with about 12 other little girls all dressed in a variety of dance gear. The dance academy then gave them the option of putting on extra costumes. The other 12 little girls chose sparkly jazz outfits, fairy wings, tiaras and precious tutus.

Our girls?

Ashlyn chose some sort of woodland creature costume. The fact that she wore it backward made her look like some sort of demented chipmunk.

Anna chose camouflage pants and an animal print cowboy hat.

Such dainty girls.

Apparently Anna was the hunter and Ashlyn was the deer. The hunter was trying to "get" the deer and then eat it (their story - not mine).

A cute little teenage girl taught the little girls a dance routine without any parents in the room and then they put on a show for all the parents. It was adorable and comical. They did the same routine a few times and I caught one of the performances on film. Check it out!

The little 2-year-old in front cracks me up. She was absolutely adorable.

All the girls had a great time and our girls definitely want to go to the next dance party they are invited to.

How to Cook a Turkey

by Anna Riggs (part of a class project that was made into a book and sent home with each child)

"You get your 30 pound turkey at the grocery store - Target. It costs 20 cents. Take it home and put it in the oven. Before you put it in the oven, you punch it hard 5 times. Then you push it together hard. Put 2 boxes of salt on it, then 2 bags of brown sugar. Then put 1 box of pepper on it, then 2 boxes of flour, and 2 boxes of sunflower seeds. Put 3 different colored gumballs on it. Then put 4 oranges in a box and 1 bag of raisins. Then put 1 slice of white bread on there. Then put 6 gumdrops. Then put slices of meat - chicken - on there. Put 1 squirt of chocolate icing in a bag then put 7 cherries in the box. Then put slices of 7 apples in a bag. Then put meat - steak - in a box. The put 6 grapes in a box. Then I'm going to buy another turkey that costs 10 dollars. Put all this stuff on that turkey. Put the turkey in stove. Cook it 6 hours at 60 degrees."

Anna's was the longest submission by far.

Ah yes...the next Julia Child.

Our dainty flowers on Halloween

Ah, yes - our dainty, flower-like daughters who love all things "girly" (NOT) chose to be ninjas this year. Mm, hmm...ninjas - one a "cobra ninja" and one a "dragon ninja". Pictures (and video) are definitely worth a thousand words in this case, so here is a pic and a video of the girls in their costumes. Be sure to listen for the Thriller soundtrack in the background.

The pic below is from the morning after Trick-or-Treating. They actually started sorting the candy the night before and then finished up the next morning. This is definitely their Daddy coming out in them, but I do love me some nice organizational skills - ha!

Ashlyn with her FAVORITE candy - Tootsie Rolls. We got a bazillion of 'em.

Anna with her FAVORITE candies - Starburst, M & M's, & a Hershey Bar.

Why I want to stab the C*V*S* Minute Clinic guy in the eye with a SPORK!!!

Let me preface this blog entry by telling you that normally I'm a big fan of the C*V*S* Minute Clinic. The Physicians Assistants (PA's) servicing these offices have always been kind and helpful to me and my kids when we've had to visit them instead of our regular pediatrician.

Until now!

It is flu shot season. Oh goodie! It is a necessary evil, but we get a shot each year - all four of us. I know a few people have had some issues with the flu shot and choose not to get them, but the flu shot has been our friend for the last five years and we see no reason to end that friendship anytime soon.

The girls have never been big fans of shots. Shoot - who is!?! And I definitely don't expect my two 5-year-olds to stand up and do a big cheer over the fact that someone will be jabbing a needle in their leg. 5-year-olds don't want shots - period! This is not some new revelation. But it was new to the moron servicing the Minute clinic on Tuesday.

I was prepared! The girls would get home from school, I would promise them a snack of ultimate greatness (any snack in the store girls) and we would get our shots and skip merrily out of the store. Tra-la-la-la-la.

Oh - what a hopeless optimist, I am.

If you've ever been to a C*V*S Minute Clinic you know you have to complete a computerized registration process outside the doors of the office. The door to the office was closed, so I knew someone else was in there. As I was completing the registration process, the girls had an "ah-ha" moment and realized they were there to get shots. Lovely.

I explained that I would get mine first so they could see it wasn't a big deal and then they would go. Anna was pretty complacent about the whole thing (I think she was already thinking how she could con me into the family fun size bag of M&M's). Ashlyn was not so thrilled. She wasn't having a fit, but was definitely crying. Again - she's 5.

The door to the office opened and another mother and her small child walked out. The 6-foot, 200 pound, 40-something, Einstein-Professor-without-the-mustache-looking PA walked out and quietly told me that I needed to come on in (I wasn't done with my registration yet). I figured he was being smart and going to get Ashlyn's shot over with first, but boy was I wrong.

Here's the actual conversation:

PA Moron (my affectionate name for him now): Ma'am, I won't be able to give her the shot today?

Me: What?

PA Moron: Yeah, I can't deal with her like this. (He uses vague hand motions to indicate Ashlyn. Ashlyn is still crying, but not flailing around or screaming her head off.)

Me: What do you mean you can't deal with her like this?

PA Moron: I'm just not willing to give her a shot with her in this condition.

Me: (Ready to pounce.) What do you mean "in this condition"? She's five. Five-year-olds aren't thrilled with getting shots. This can't be a surprise for you?!? (said with us much sarcasm as possible)

PA Moron: Ma'am I just can't do it. (Ashlyn is now even more upset and Anna is now thinking she should be upset because Ashlyn is - lovely.)

Me: You have got to be kidding me!?! (yep - I've definitely raised my voice at this point) I called 20 minutes ago and was told you give shots to anyone over 18 months old. Are you telling me you don't give shots to ANYONE shedding even a tear, or are you just not qualified?

PA Moron: um...um...um...

Me: So you are telling me you are not man enough to give a 5-year-old a shot? Fine! Do you think you are man enough to give me mine? (Now, thinking back on this I realize this wasn't the smartest thing to say considering this the man that will be jabbing a needle in my arm.)

PA Moron: Uh - yeah. You'll need to complete the rest of your registration.

Me: Fine (I read over the form which mentions something about taking medication for allergies. I tell him I had my allergy shots the previous day and that I confirmed with my allergy doctor that it was totally fine to get my flu shot.)

PA Moron: Yeah...then I won't be able to do your shot either.

Me: You are kidding, right?!? (voice is definitely raised here) I asked my allergy doctor about it and they said the flu shot can be given without a problem.

PA Moron: uhhhhh...no. I won't be able to do it.

Me: Well - you are completely useless.

I then storm out of the office with my two traumatized children. I see another mom with her child outside the office. I say, "Did you hear any of that?". She says, "yes" and then just shakes her head in compassion for me.
__________________________________

Follow up: I set up an appointment with our pediatrician's office yesterday to get the girls their flu shots. I wasn't about to tempt fate again and try C*V*S or Wal*greens. Ashlyn was literally flailing about and screaming her head off this time, and the 20-something, maybe 120-pound, dainty nurse and I took control of the situation and gave that shot to her.

Take that you weak, PA Moron!

I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie...

Situation: I was trying to clean out the van of the immense amounts of trash, old lollipops, hair bows, spider rings & Chuck E. Cheese tokens before letting the girls in to go somewhere (I don't even remember where now). We have the side doors that automatically close when you push a button on the door or on the key chain. I accidentally pushed the button with my elbow during the "cleaning" process, and was half in, half out of the van.

Van: BEEP! (door starts sliding closed)

Me: Oops!

Ashlyn & Anna: Uh, oh Mommy!

The sliding door hits me on the hip, stops the closing process and opens back up (safety feature on our van).

Anna: Thank goodness you've got a big butt Mommy. That door could have hurt you, but your big butt stopped it.

Me: Yep - I'm quite thankful for my big butt, honey.